LOOK, THERE’S NO use being precious about it. New Year’s Eve is more than a bit crap.
Even if you enjoy it, even if you go out every year to celebrate, you know all of this in your bones. Here’s why it’s the capital-W Worst.
1. The crowds. Good lord, the crowds
Who are all these people? Where do they come from? Can they go away now?
2. The countdown itself
You always expect something to actually happen. Why this is, you’ll never know.
3. The people who are extremely smug about staying in
We all know you’re hammering home how warm and content you are just to ward off the FOMO. We all know.
4. The talk of ‘New Year, new me’
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5. Those copy-and-paste texts that get sent around, year after year
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“Before the networks get jammed…” It’s not 1998, Auntie Barbara!
6. The pressure to have the best night ever
You know, like going to one of those NYE parties you see in films, where everyone is just on the right side of tipsy and absolutely nobody cries. That’s doable, right? (Wrong.)
7. If you were out, trying to get a taxi home
You may forget about that, now.
8. If you’re staying in, the feeling that you should be out
You made the choice to stay in, and yet here you are at 11pm, wondering if it’s too late to find a house party and a stranger to lob the gob on at midnight.
This is always a phase. Wrap yourself in another blanket, turn up Jools Holland and pull yourself together, man!
9. The essay-like Facebook statuses detailing the highs and lows of 2015
“This was the year I travelled the world and saw so many amazing things.” This was the year I discovered I could comfortably eat a share bag of Doritos in one sitting. What’s your point?
10. And last but not least, being roped into singing Auld Lang Syne
Holding someone’s limp, sweaty hand as you half-sing, half-whisper something like “Should old acquaintance be mm-mm, and never… DO DO DOOOOO!!”
It only comes once a year, and every year, we’re so glad that it does.
