Dublin: 3 °C Friday 23 February, 2024
mouth on fire

8 facts of life for anyone who can't hack jalapenos

[to tune of Sex on Fire] “MY MOUTH IS ON FIRE”

jaalep Flickr Flickr


Some of us just can’t hack them at all.

1. First of all, you just can’t enjoy them because they set your mouth on fire

You shouldn’t have to have a pint of milk just to tolerate some food.

2. They absolutely ruin otherwise delicious foods

How do you turn a beautiful experience like eating pizza into a living nightmare? Simple! Just stick a jalapeno pepper on there.

3. Let’s be real: jalapeno peppers are the wasps of the vegetable world

You: “Do you really want to hurt me?”

Jalapenos: “Yes.”

4. Have you ever rubbed your eye after handling a jalapeno? Because it is the worst 

Damn you, jalapenos. Sneaky bastards.

5. But seriously, it spoils everything

Guacamole, nachos, pizza. All made worse by jalapenos.

6. There’s nothing more tragic than getting a plate of nachos covered in jalapenos and being like, “Oh great, now I have to pick all these jalapenos off”

#love #chesse #nachos #jalapeno #mexicanchil #delicious #fat #colesterol

A photo posted by Diana Dueñes (@dnsdiana) on

7. And sometimes they just sneak up on you out of nowhere

“Ooh, is that a green pepper there? NOPE NOPE NOPE.”

8. If not enjoying the sensation of your mouth being on fire makes you a wimp, so be it.

*downs pint of milk*

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