1. You regularly sleep on an unmade bed cos you CBA to put on the fresh sheets
You’ll do it another time. Just not now.
2. Or amongst your laundry because UGH, the effort of putting it away
3. And text people who are mere rooms away from you
It’s just easier!
4. You watch terrible programmes for hours because you don’t want to get up to find the remote
5. You’d do just about anything to ensure you don’t have to make a second trip to the car
6. Your bedroom? No, it’s the Mug Museum
7. And a saucepan? It’s a bowl if you say it’s a bowl*
*It’s a bowl when all the proper bowls are dirty and you don’t want to clean one
8. You are the one responsible for this
9. You’re an expert at picking things up with your toes
10. And will gladly keep adding to this
As long as you don’t have to take the bin out, you’re happy.
11. You don’t have a wardrobe, you have a chair
12. This seems perfectly reasonable to you
13. These are your alarms
14. The half an hour after you shower is dedicated to sitting around in your towel, looking at your phone
15. Cereal is an acceptable meal for breakfast, lunch and dinner
16. And this is your bed. Always
