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Dublin: 10 °C Wednesday 24 April, 2019
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9 problems with having pale skin in Ireland

It’s all fun and games until it becomes too hot to wear tights.

IF LIKE ME you are as pale as a bottle of milk then the prospect of warm weather might be a bit scary to you.

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Sun means warmth which means you might have to expose more of your skin than the normal bit of face and fingers and that my friends, does not encourage us pale skinned folk.

Here are 9 problems with having pale skin in Ireland.

1. You burn at the slightest HINT of sun.

Is that the Sun? Appearing for all 2.5 seconds while I’m in this shaded area? Oh doesn’t matter, I’m burnt anyway.

2. Fake tan is not an option.

Look some of us just look like a Nacho cheese Dorito when fake tan is applied to our skin and there’s nothing we can do about it. Leave us alone.

3. Exposing your legs is a big deal.

Look when you spend 364 days of the year in jeans, leggings and tights, exposing the world to your pale, pale legs isn’t the most inviting idea. You might blind someone.

4. And the slightest change in temperature turns them blue.

Sun goes in and suddenly it feels like -8 with that wind chill and you’ve never felt more betrayed in your entire life.

5. If it does stay warm for long enough you start to get sweaty.

And because you’re so pale, you start to glow like some poorly constructed neon light in a dodgy bar. Dewy like appearance my ass.

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6. Your freckles are never as cute as they’re supposed to be.

Want a cute sprinkle of freckles across the bridge of your nose? Tough. You’re getting freckles EVERYWHERE. Your arms, your legs, your fingers, they’ll leave no place unfreckled.

7. Dying your hair can be particularly tricky.

You can go blonde but no too blonde as that will make you look dead. Same problem with black, purple, red, orange. Silver is a complete no-go.

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8. And trying to find make up is an even bigger headache.

I mean do we even know what the actual colour of ivory is? Am I very light vory? Am I beige? Am I ivory beige? HELP.

9. You just can’t compete with all the European students.

They’re all sallow and beautiful and we’re all pale and easily bruised. It’s not a fair exchange at all is it?

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About the author:

Rachel O'Neill

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