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Dublin: 9 °C Friday 29 May, 2020

An Important And Official Ranking of Alcopops

Relieve your heady teenage years.

Spirituosen-im-supermarkt Source: Wikimedia

THE ALCOPOP is a rite of passage for most Irish teens.

Maybe you didn’t like the taste of actual alcohol yet. Maybe they were the only drinks your parents would permit you. Maybe you just liked the pretty colours.

No doubt you still have strong feelings on which ones were the best – so here’s a ranking of classic alcopops, from worst to best.

9. VK  Vodka


These were always the ones that your local nightclub did ’3 for €5′ deals on, and we all know how that went, don’t we?

8. WKD Red

11328418_419645424881050_369905739_n Source: Instagram/tapi96_1230

Like its blue counterpart, WKD Red is extremely sweet. Like its blue counterpart, it leaves a film of sugar all over your tongue and teeth. Unlike its blue counterpart, it tastes rotten. No thank you.

7. Hooch

M-Hooch-300dpi-RGB-247x640 Source: Thedrinksbusiness

The name: Hooch. Doesn’t really inspire confidence, does it? Hooch is one of the first alcopops, but has been outstripped by the young upstarts further down in this list.

6. Woody’s

Woody drink Source: PhotoBucket

The taste of being a teenager in the 90s. Sadly, it no longer exists, and you have to wonder if it’s for the best.

5. Bacardi Breezer Orange

#bacardibreezer#relaxtime#seredestate#withmylove Source: Instagram/valentinadannibale

One staffer described Bacardi Breezer Orange as tasting like ‘flat Fanta’. Which is fine, but as good as its tangy brother, which features later on in this list.

4. Fat Frog

Source: Instagram/pamelakeating

Fat Frog (the drink, not the cocktail made of three alcopops) is nice, but a distinctly teenage drink. You have to wonder if anyone drinking Fat Frog over the age of 18 has fully developed tastebuds.

3. Bacardi Breezer Tropical Lemon/Lime

RT01 Source: Liquorsky

Wasn’t this a delight to drink? Not quite as refreshing as they claimed, but still a top notch alcopop.

2. Smirnoff Ice Original

Recuerdos #XmasTime #SmirnoffICE Source: Instagram/galuxshaoran

Smirnoff Ice always seemed a little more fancy than the other alcopops – and what’s more, it tasted good. In fact, it’s probably the only one we’d still happily drink today.

1. WKD Blue

8850073124894 Source: Iceland

So it’s not the most sophisticated beverage. So it makes the inside of your mouth feel like cotton wool.

But WKD Blue was the drink of so many of our youths for these reasons: it’s oddly tasty, AND it turns your tongue (amongst other things) blue. What more could you want in an alcopop? Nothing.

Sorry, Aldi won’t be doing wine deliveries in Ireland after all>

Instant coffee is gross and should be banned with immediate effect>

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