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Dublin: 9 °C Wednesday 24 April, 2019
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This man's red chair story about his girlfriend's dog coughing up a condom was brilliant on Graham Norton

The worst thing that could possibly happen.

Graham Norton Show Source: Ian West

SOME NIGHTS, THE couch is so full of talent on The Graham Norton Show that they end up not having any red chair stories at all.

Which is a shame, because it often provides the best moments of pure entertainment – and last night’s was no different.

After a couple of underwhelming efforts, Robert sat down with a very short story to save the day – a story that had it all.

“In my teens, I had a girlfriend and her father was a strict Catholic. He hated me with a vengeance.”

ribert Source: BBC

“So on Christmas Eve, the father says to my girlfriend ‘we’re going out, you’re staying in’ and she says ‘I’m only staying in to babysit my baby brother if Robert can come around’.”

ribert2 Source: BBC

After that quick set up, the punch line came:

“So he finally agrees, and I come round. They go out, the lights go down, the movie goes on, the lights come up and they come back. The mother says ‘I’ll make everyone a cup of tea.’ So we’re sitting down to have a cup of tea when the dog comes in, sits in the middle of the lounge, starts coughing… and then all of a sudden coughs up a condom.”

ribert3 Source: BBC

Oh.

The poor dog.

It would be mortifying enough, but the “strict Catholic” dimension to the story had everyone in stitches

ribert4 Source: BBC

We never got closure on how the dog got hold of the condom in the first place, but it was simply the wrong household for that to happen in.

Obviously Robert didn’t get the lever treatment, such was the quality of his story

People should just save all their most embarrassing stories for a potential future appearance on the red chair.

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About the author:

David Elkin

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