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Dublin: 1 °C Saturday 20 April, 2024
kickstarter

15 chancers that want you to fund their personal projects

Cowboys. The lot of them.

REMEMBER WHEN THAT guy raised $51,850 to make a potato salad on Kickstarter?

Unfortunately that wasn’t a once-off. Stupid projects are now springing up left, right and centre, and these chancers are looking for your money to fund them.

Here are some cheeky pups looking for your hard-earned cash.

1. The guy who has set up a ‘dickstarter’

kickstarter1 Kickstarter Kickstarter

This guy is looking for $100 to draw a penis. “I just graduated college and I have no job. Let’s bring it back to the goals of my youth. I want to make the world’s biggest dick drawing.”

2. The guy who wants to make pancakes

kickstarter2 Kickstarter Kickstarter

This potato salad copycat wants $50 to make pancakes. “Every day, I consider making myself blueberry pancakes. This summer, I will go ahead with my considerations and make those pancakes!”

3. The guy who wants to spray anti-capitalist graffiti in Liverpool

Wall Street Protest Oakland AP / Press Association Images AP / Press Association Images / Press Association Images

This guy needs £60 become the Scouse Banksy. “So, I basically need money to pay for spray paint because I 1) can’t afford it… 2) wouldn’t want to fully bear the financial cost of art that I believe will benefit many in the city of Liverpool.” Noble.

4. The guy leading a one-man egg sandwich crusade

eggsandwich Kickstarter Kickstarter

This guy needs $310 to print instructional leaflets on how to make a nice egg sandwich, which he will personally deliver to all establishments that sell egg sandwiches. “There’s not ONE right way to do this, but my guidelines will at least make an average egg sandwich much better.” Again: noble.

5. The groom who wants to feed his Ma’s friends at his wedding

Wedding Stock PA Images Contributor / Press Association Images PA Images Contributor / Press Association Images / Press Association Images

These two cowboys want $1,550 to feed the groom’s mother’s friends at their wedding. “Mother says we need to invite 31 of her friends to our wedding. We need your help to feed them and make sure they give us a thumbs up!”

6. The guy who wants to make a beer tie

kickstarter4

Fellas: ever at a party and wish you could put your bottle of beer in your tie and free up those tired, tired hands? You may be in luck, but not before this guy raises $7,800.  “Both functional and stylish, the Beer Tie is here to hold your beer and ‘DRESS UP YOUR DRINKIN’!'”

7. The guy who wants to build a sandcastle

sandcastle Kickstarter Kickstarter

This guy wants a tenner to build a sandcastle. “I want to make a sandcastle, but I first need equipment.”

8. The lady who wants to start an Instagram for hunters

hunters Kickstarter Kickstarter

This lady wanted to build an Instagram for hunters called Huntagram. “I got the idea from my husband who at deer season can’t wait to get on Facebook to show everyone what he killed…He said its time for hunters to have there own app with no gossip.” NO GOSSIP.

9. The people that want to manufacture a smart toilet roll holder

rollscout Kickstarter Kickstarter

These two want $37,500 for a “smart” toilet paper holder that beams an LED light when the toilet paper is gone. You know, in case you can’t see the empty toilet roll right in front of you. “Yes, you can visually inspect the roll before using the toilet. But are we all always that vigilant?” Compelling argument! (If they raise $55,000, they’ll create an app. Eyeroll.)

10. The guy who wants to build a sexy phone charger

sexyphonecharger Kickstarter Kickstarter

This guy is looking for $8,000 to build a sexy phone charger named Paul. “Technology should do more than just represent your sexuality – It should LITERALLY BE SEXY.”

11. The guy who wants to produce Puglet

pughamlet Kickstarter Kickstarter

This guy wants $5,000 to stage an all-pug production of Hamlet. “For years I’ve dreamed of mounting one of Shakespeare’s most glorious works with nature’s most glorious creation:  The Pug.”

12. The lady who wants to send a birthday gift to Barack Obama

love Kickstarter Kickstarter

This lady needs $4,000 to make a work of art and a birthday card for Barack Obama. “I want to create this gift for President Obama with nail polish and glitter on a piece of red, white, blue, or black leather and use a black, silver or gold frame.” Four. Thousand. Dollars.

13. The guy who wants to make a corndog

corndog Kickstarter Kickstarter

This guy says he wants $5 to make a corndog, but we all know he just wants attention from the internet. “Let’s kickstart this delicious corndog!  Thank you…”

14. The couple that want to sew cat capes

Grumpy Cat AP / Press Association Images AP / Press Association Images / Press Association Images

These chancers want $250 to make capes for their cats. “Please help our cats realize their dream of flight! And our dream of learning how to sew tiny capes and other things for our cats.”

15. The guy who wants to create ‘junk jeans’

junkjeans Kickstarter Kickstarter

This guy wanted to raise $25,000 to create “anatomically designed jeans with a man’s junk in mind.” The promise? “No more scrunching, squishing, squashing or splitting of the goods”. *shivers*

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