IN THE HIERARCHY of crisp flavours, salt and vinegar should be at the bottom. It’s a bad flavour, and it should feel bad. For many reasons.
Wincing should not be part of a food experience
Eating is supposed to be enjoyable. You’re not supposed to feel like your mouth is being stabbed by thousands of tiny knives.
Eating one by accident is the most horrible surprise
You’re at a party and someone has laid on a lovely bowl of crisps like this:
So you grab a handful and shove them in your mouth and WWAAARGH! F**KING SALT AND VINEGAR.
And buying them by accident? Biggest disappointment ever
Salt and vinegar packets should be BLUE. Do not mess with this formula. We’re looking at you, Walkers.
They’re actually dangerous
Here are just two unlucky people who touched their eyes after eating salt and vinegar crisps, but no doubt there are many more:
Just alarming.
They’ll help you find cuts on your lips you never knew existed
Cheers, you stingy b*stards!
And gradually wear away the inside of your mouth
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This just sounds like torture? Not lovely crisps.
And the smell? Don’t even get us started
It just…permeates everything. One bag of crisps can stink up the entire top deck of a bus.
Yet still, something about them compels people to shovel them into their mouths
Through chapped lips. Through stinging paper cuts. Through mouth ulcers.
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We will never understand. And we don’t want to.
