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"Did we really need Miley's feminist retelling of 'Santa Baby' when it's already a sugar baby banger?"

If you’re reading this Santa, I’ll take one of everything.

ICYMI, Miley Cyrus had her own bash at bringing a classic Christmas song kicking and screaming into the modern day.

In her “feminist” rehash of ‘Santa Baby’, she rejects the previously lust-worthy sable, yacht and ring for some things that are more practical for a modern day woman, like financial independence, equal pay and end to sexual harassment.

Source: The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon/YouTube

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It makes sense in one way for people to do this, as well as call out other classic Christmas songs, because … Well, they’re not exactly modern, are they? When you consider that the most recent BIG Christmas hit was probably 1994′s ‘All I Want For Christmas Is You’ or The Darkness’ ‘Christmas Time’ from 2003, it’s reasonable to want to update something to be more “of the time”.

‘Santa Baby’ is where I, personally, would take exception though.

Source: EarthaKittVEVO/YouTube

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Yes, you could certainly argue that the original lyrics are materialistic and how, as women, we should be fighting against capitalism. But at the same time, is Eartha not being holy practical in asking Santa for a duplex? Was she foreshadowing the housing crisis? 

While the usefulness of a platinum mine in 2018 is very much up for debate, you have to admire her entrepreneurial spirit in seeking the deed for one, all the same.

And even beyond that, surely there’s nothing  more feminist than a woman asking for exactly what she wants and being unapologetic for it? How does that old saying go again? “If you don’t ask, you won’t get”? Joan Javits and Philip Springer, the song’s writers, were paving the way for a legion of future sugar babies, who knew exactly what they were worth, and weren’t afraid to ask for what they deserved.

Should you be shamed for wanting something boujee AF after a long hard year trying to stay on the Nice List? Haven’t any of you people heard of the concept of #TreatYoSelf?

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Also, how do we know those gifts were even for her? Maybe Eartha was planning to craftily regift some of her Santa presents in the name of sustainability? (Who wouldn’t love a Tiffany decoration, in fairness?)

In all seriousness, Miley’s point isn’t any less valid. The things she asks Santa for are things that women have been shouting for since time began, and yet remain elusive for the majority. But, take it with a pinch of salt and understand that her retelling doesn’t make the original an anti-feminist travesty. It’s all LOLz, at the end of the day.

I’ll see you at midnight mass rocking my sable, regardless.

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