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Dublin: 13 °C Wednesday 15 July, 2020

The all-time scariest things your parents said to you as a kid

Quivering in our little boots, we were.

REMEMBER HOW SCARY getting into trouble was when you were growing up?

You knew you were for it if one of your parents caught you beating seven shades of sugar out of your brother, or if your sister ratted on you for nicking her sweets.

This was the parental payback. SCREAM.

“Don’t make me come up those stairs!”

Suddenly there wasn’t a peep out of you from the bunk-bed.

“I’ll get the man!”

What man? Any nearby person standing by in shop. The mysterious, terrifying man.

“Because I said so, that’s why!”

But… But… Why?

“If you’re not back by 9 o’clock…”

Mam would come out and mortify you in front of your friends. A fate worse than death: social embarrassment.

“I’m not angry. I’m disappointed.”

It wasn’t until this phrase was uttered that you’d realise you’d much rather if they were hopping mad instead.

“You’ll be going to boarding school!”


“I’m going to count to three…”


And, of course…

As we discussed before, the dreaded, horrifying, bone-chilling words…

“Where’s the wooden spoon?”

What was the scariest things your parents used to say? And do you say them to your own kids?

Read: 9 empty threats our parents used to love>

Read: 14 bitter truths that will ruin your childhood memories>

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About the author:

Fiona Hyde

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