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6 gadgets people have invented just to smuggle booze

Stuffing a naggin in your sock is for amateurs.

GONE ARE THE days of stuffing a naggin in your sock.

When it comes to smuggling alcoholic beverages into (or out of?) places, mankind will stop at nothing.

Here are six gadgets whose sole purpose is to allow the user to drink on the cheap. Let’s all not think about humanity’s priorities, OK?

1. iPhone flask


Yes, it’s a flask. It holds about 150ml of booze, comes with a funnel, and has a nifty slide cap on the top. You’ll have to make up your own explanation as to why you’re sucking the top of  a dead iPhone, though.

Invented for smuggling booze into: Er, business meetings? We’re not really sure.

2. Binocular flask


From the description:

Since the binocular double flask has two separate compartments you can bring two different kinds of alcohol with you

One amusing side effect: this will not help you see things that are far away, and you’ll probably have to hold it up to your eyes from time to time for authenticity’s sake.

Invented for smuggling booze into: Birdwatching club, the opera.

3. Bible flask


They don’t call it the Good Book for nothing. Admittedly the illusion of piety will probably dissipate a little when you take a swig from it.

Invented for smuggling booze into: Mass.

4. Walking Cane Flask


Comes with a “comfortable knob handle”. If that doesn’t set your mind at rest, I don’t know what will.

Invented for smuggling booze into: Old-timey factory owners’ conventions. Or something.

5. The ‘Shampbooze’


Basically exactly like pouring your booze into an empty shampoo bottle, but with one key advantage: it WON’T taste like shampoo.

They even change the made-up labels every few months so watchful booze detectives (?) don’t get suspicious.

Invented for smuggling booze into: Cruise ships, hairdressing salons.

6. The ‘Wine Rack’


Yes, this is exactly what you’re thinking: a bra containing inflatable pockets of wine.

Quite apart from the inevitable deflation over the course of the evening, we’re guessing this would also serve to warm the wine to a delicious 37.5 degrees. Delightful.

In case you’re wondering, there is also a beer belly version for men.

Invented for smuggling booze into: Pretty much everywhere except the men’s changing rooms.

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About the author:

Michael Freeman

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