Dublin: 19 °C Tuesday 27 July, 2021

Shakira is preggers... what can her songs teach her baby about life?

It’s not the wooden spoon this kid should be afraid of, it’s Shakira’s hips.

"I meant it when I said 'clean your room'. My hips don't lie."
Image: Suzan/Suzan/EMPICS Entertainment

THOSE OF YOU who have been holding out for Shakira to realise she’s desperately in love with you should probably give up the ghost.

The Colombian singer has announced she’s pregnant, meaning she’s pretty much off the market, for the time being anyway.

She’s posted on her website that she and boyfriend FC Barcelona star Gerard Piqué are expecting their first child.

What words of wisdom can Shakira’s lyrics bestow on her first born?

Tiny Baby Shakira, we at TheJournal.ie are here to help…

“Hips don’t lie” – Hips Don’t Lie

Baby Shakira, if your mother tells you to tidy your room, and says you’ll be grounded if you don’t pick up your socks, watch out for a shake of her hips, because those suckers don’t lie. You’ll be sitting in on a Saturday night with Shakira and Gerard watching Columbians Dancing on Ice before you know it. If you don’t believe us, ask Wyclef Jean.

Uploaded by ShakiraVEVO

“Lucky that my breast are small and humble so you don’t confuse them with mountains” – Whenever, Wherever

Mountains are for climbing Baby Shakira, breasts are not. Luckily, your mother has made it clear how to distinguish between the two.

Uploaded by ShakiraVEVO

“I will always love you baby, with eyes closed” – Something

It’s not that she can’t bear to look at you Baby Shakira, she just prefers to use her other senses to express her love. It’s nothing personal.

Uploaded by qkopotter

“Lamps are hanging from the ceiling” – Underneath Your Clothes

Some handy home decorating tips there. Lamps are for ceilings, seats are not for feet etc etc.

Uploaded by ShakiraVEVO

Who else is pregnant/not pregnant? Find out in The Dredge>

About the author:

Emer McLysaght

Read next: