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Dublin: 3 °C Thursday 30 November, 2023
razor burn

Shaving is a cruel joke played on men, and here's why

It is designed to make us look and feel silly.

SHAVING IS A cruel but hilarious joke, of which men are the victims.*

Here are all the reasons why. Pity us poor men.

*Yes, most women shave bits of themselves too. But it’s just not as ridiculous, is it? Is it?

1. Shaving takes crucial morning time, when you could be in bed.

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2. It is also a strangely pointless activity

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3. But if you let it slide, you look like a fourteen-year-old boy with an attitude problem.

Kevin Lawver Kevin Lawver

4. It gives you weird rash pimples, even after you stop getting pimples.

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5. Oh, you already have spots for some reason? GOOD LUCK WITH THAT.

6. Also, how many other grooming tasks force you to make this face?

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7. In all honesty, the front of your head PLAINLY wasn’t designed for shaving.

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8. You will literally slash your own face.

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9. Shaving foam is a ridiculous substance

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10. The only way around it is to grow a beard. This is how you imagine it will be.

John Shearer / AP/Press Association Images John Shearer / AP/Press Association Images / AP/Press Association Images

11. This is how it will actually be.

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12. And this is what it’ll feel like when you cave in and take it off.

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13. Now go and shave.

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Dammit.

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