Dublin: 12 °C Tuesday 6 June, 2023
# bagel bytes
11 ingenious solutions to your first world lunch problems
WHY aren’t these things standard practice?

EATING IS SO hard. It’s like some obstacles are purposely put there to stop us enjoying it.

But worry not. Have a problem? Somebody out there has found a solution.

1. Problem: Your organic cream-cheese and onion bagel gets squished in your bag

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Solution: Nick an old CD-ROM stack from the office supplies and enjoy plump doughy carbs all year round

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2. You aren’t sure when enough pizza is enough



Solution: Allow this ingenious paper plate to be your guiding light.

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3. You’re on the Special K diet but your flakes go soggy in the milk before you can finish

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Solution: Double bowl that rice and wheat. Can also apply to biscuit dilemmas.

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4. You bought too much fast food to carry and the bags have NO HANDLES and spill all the chips

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Solution: This piece of cardboard that deserves a Nobel peace prize for serving its purpose in life and so much more.

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5. You get up from your seat for FIVE minutes in the canteen or kitchen and some absolute vulture attacks


Solution: Leave a mess, without leaving a mess. Being known as the office pig is better than having to bring your lunch elsewhere.

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6. You have to eat at your keyboard and it’s now an abomination. A food graveyard. A place where hope and hygiene go to die

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Solution: A keyboard NAPKIN of course. Take our money, all of it.

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7. You got a big pizza but you have to keep that box upright and it’s ridiculously awkward

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Solution: Campaign for every single pizza place in Ireland to supply these.

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There’s much to be learned here. We could write a thesis on the art of convenient pizza consumption.


8. It’s raining, you just bought a coffee, and now you must juggle like you’ve never juggled before to avoid spilling it on your beige chinos

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Solution: The coffee-holder brolly. Look and FEEL cool as you dash around with this fashion-forward gem.

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Or simply obtain a splash stick to avoid a traumatising coffee puddle on the lid.

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9. You bought a fancy lunch to have at your desk but there’s no more clean cutlery left


Solution: Dig in with your hands, or purchase these inspired pen-lids to be the envy of all your workmates.

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10. Your co-workers keep robbing your lunch because it looks so nice

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Solution: Mouldy bags. They won’t suspect a thing.

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11. Your face when eating large, messy, masses of drippy gooey food is not as appealing as you’d like


Solution: A napkin with a delicate little clean face on it is your only saviour here, you animal.

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17 wonderful inventions to solve all your first world problems>

9 futuristic inventions we were promised but never got>

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