1. A St Patrick with a cotton wool beard and tinfoil crozier
2. Terrifying off-brand versions of beloved children’s characters
3. Tiny, adorable children. You’re not sure what they’re supposed to be, but they seem delighted to be there so it’s lovely
4. At least one teenager looking like they would rather die than hold this stupid banner, MAM
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5. A cheeky reference to international politics (Expect allllll of the Trumps)
6. A cheeky reference to the Irish joke du jour (in previous years we’ve had Irish Water, the horsemeat scandal, The Gathering, etc. What’ll it be this year?)
7. Water guns
8. A Rose of Tralee, or the town’s equivalent, sitting in the back of a vintage car
9. Tractors. Several of them, just trundling through the town
10. A marching band drafted in from somewhere random, as this town certainly does not have a marching band
11. A local politician waving grandly like they’re Barack Obama
12. A group of children Irish dancing/playing trad on a flatbed truck
13. An animal dyed green
14. A van from a local business, sparsely decorated, relishing the promo opportunity
15. Hay bales, here there and everywhere
16. The local fire service
17. And the Order of Malta. Our one constant in this crazy world
