Dublin: 3 °C Thursday 30 November, 2023

The 11 guilt-ridden stages of not running a Bank Holiday marathon

There ain’t nothing MINI about our guilt, wha?

DEALING WITH MINI-MARATHON guilt is as exhausting as running the thing. Don’t even talk to us about the Cork marathon.

Remember, it’s not a sprint.

1. Waking up past 12

The runners are all out stretching in their tracksuits already and you’re turning over in bed. The only marathon you’ll be doing today is taking place on Netflix.


2. Reading all about it

Facebook is full of smiley faces in sponsored t-shirts, Twitter is full of good wishes. Fair play to them all now, grand weather for it.

9a2ds GOAL Ireland GOAL Ireland

3. Thinking you should have done it

You could have TOTALLY done it if you wanted to. You missed registration and all that sure.


4. Eat

Tastes like bitterness.


5. Tut at diversions and feel guilty

Your plans to leave the house are ruined now.


6. Donate out of tutting guilt


7. Use Facebook and Twitter to wish them good luck

It means a lot, we’re sure of it.


8. Contemplate going down to cheer them on

Get distracted and don’t.

BpHSD_DIAAA28yU Garda Traffic Garda Traffic

9. Eat some more while completion pics start coming in


10. Finally decide to get dressed and showered


11. Join the sesh

What did I do all day? Lets talk MORE ABOUT YOU.


3 hours 41 minutes and 10 seconds for a marathon, in full firefighting gear, in Cork>

The 9 stages of going for a run for the first time>

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