HELLO THERE! ARE you at work today?
Well done, you resisted the urge to take a sick day.
Even people with jobs that they adore have the inclination from time to time. It’s because of what’s known in scientific circles as duvet-tational pull, y’see.
The thing is, the sick day is a lying liar.
It taunts you with visions of dreamy sleep and catching up on busy jobs, when nine times out of ten it will drag you down to the depths of despair.
Here are the seven stages of taking a sick day.
1. Relief
You’ve made the call and you think they bought it. The awkwardness is out of the way.
2. Euphoria
You’re free! Totally free! The world is your oyster!
3. Guilt
But wait…what about your colleagues? They’ll have extra work to do, and that isn’t fair.
Also, you lied, and you don’t like lying.
4. Justification
Wait a minute though, you’ve worked all those extra hours recently, and haven’t said a word. You deserve this.
Also, you’ve got so much to do! You’re going to get loads of bits and pieces done.
5. Fear
You better not go anywhere. What if someone sees you?
Better stay away from Facebook and Twitter too, if you’re well enough to do that they might think you’re well enough to work.
They’re probably all talking about how you’re faking it right now.
6. Boredom
Everyone’s at work, and you’ve watched all the telly you can handle. What do you do now?
7. Dread
Work tomorrow is going to be awful. Everyone will hate you because they’ll know. They’ll know you lied.
You should never have taken a sick day at all.
Is this an accurate reflection of your sick day experience? Have we missed one? Let us know in the comments.
