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Dublin: 1 °C Friday 29 March, 2024
land of mystery

The top floor of the Stephen's Green Shopping Centre has to be the strangest place in Dublin

So wonderfully off the wall.

THE STEPHEN’S GREEN Shopping Centre has a lot to recommend it – big fancy Dunnes, unique architecture, and excellent spots to watch the world go by from.

However, we must discuss the top floor, which is so incredibly at odds with the rest of the place.

It’s hard to pinpoint exactly why it unnerves people, but we’ll try.

The only reason so many of us go up there is to find the rotten toilets

How many 20c coins have we paid for the privilege of pissing over the years because we’re too lazy/desperate to seek out a free alternative?

But then you get sidetracked by its eclectic collection of shops

Asha1 Peter Moloney / Stephen's Green SC Peter Moloney / Stephen's Green SC / Stephen's Green SC

You’ve got the alternative clothing shop. The wrestling shop. The all-you-can-eat Chinese buffet. The arts and crafts shop. The shop that exclusively sells Japanese knick-knacks. Everything you could ever need!

And that infamous art gallery

Home to interesting portraits of famous people, abstract art, your standard Irish landscapes, and erm… lots of boobs.

kathyfoley Twitter / @KathyFoley Twitter / @KathyFoley / @KathyFoley

The things we have seen there. Things we will never unsee.

And the random exhibits they have on there sometimes

On any given day you could find the life story of Phil Lynott or photos from the Famine. Is there a common thread? A theme? No sir. That’s the beauty of it.

It feels like a no man’s land where anything could happen

Will you get pierced? Walk away with a caricature of Paul O’Connell? Eat chicken balls until you’re sick? You could conceivably do any and all of these things!

You have to wonder what tourists make of it all

Chloe Moretz went up there the other day to browse around the Donegal Shop. Chloe. Did you find it weird? You can tell us, we won’t be mad.

It’s basically our very own Fourth Floor from Parks and Rec

Parks and Rec Clips / YouTube

You know, the creepy place were Pawnee citizens go to get a divorce, renew their driver’s licenses, or look up death records. It’s just like that.

Or the Room of Requirement from Harry Potter on Opposite Day

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It contains just about everything you do not need, you see.

So here’s to you, top floor

May you always be the little oddball that you are. And may you someday take it upon yourself to maybe make the toilets free. Thank you.

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