IN THE EARLY 2000s, Irish children managed to convince themselves that chipmunk vocals and tinny beats were actually very good. In retrospect, we were mistaken.
1. Come With Me – Special D
“At the end of every week, each one of us becomes a freak,” you sang passionately, 12 years old and about as much of a freak as a blade of grass.
2. Bobby Joe – Klubhoppers
Dontchaknowdontchaknow BOPBOPBOP BO-OBBY JOE. The aural equivalent of a migraine.
3. Now You’re Gone – Basshunter
The lyrics made it so easy for the awkward dancers among us.
Now you’re gone, I realise my love for you was strong (flex arm)
And I miss you here now you’re gone (freestyle but only for a second)
I keep waiting here by the phone (hold your hand by your ear like a phone)
With your pictures hanging on the wall (trace square with fingers)
5. Dancing In The Dark – DJ Cammy
Did you have this as your Bebo flashbox, yeah? Course you did.
6. Country Roads Remix – DJ Cammy
What was good about this was that he took the Country Roads remix that already existed and sped it up a bit. Artistry!
6. Everytime We Touch – Cascada
“Every time we kiss I swear I could fly” didn’t exactly reflect your shifting experience thus far, but who were you to question Cascada?
7. I Am A Raver – DJ Rankin
Your mam heard “DJ Rankin in the mix mothaf**ka!” emanating from your phone once and was aghast for weeks.
8. Pretty Green Eyes – Ultrabeat
That panpipe intro. It’s like a dogwhistle for 13-year-olds ready to fist-pump themselves into oblivion.
9. The Whistle Song – DJ Alligator
We all knew ‘Blow my whistle baby’ was a euphemism for something but what? It was impossible to know.
10. That’s My Name – MC Smally
If you were familiar with 11-year-old rapper MC Smally, it was probably because someone sent his magnum opus That’s My Name to your phone via Bluetooth. (He re-emerged last year and is still rapping. Gwan Smally.)
11. Heaven – DJ Sammy
This song starts to play, and you glance over at the object of your affections. His fringe is gelled down and his polo neck collar is popped up, and as the smell of Lynx Africa washes over you, you’re finding it hard to believe you’re in heaven (AKA the parochial hall).
12. Jumping All Over The World – Scooter
We’re choosing this particular Scooter song as it has lads doing jumpstyle it the video and you probably knew a few lads whose ‘thing’ was jumpstyle. Maybe it was you.
God. What a journey. Let’s forget these songs for another ten years, shall we?
