THE BILL ON ITV was an essential part of my primary school weeknight routine. So much so, when I looked in my school journal and saw that it was Tuesday or Thursday, I got more excited than I should have. Need I explain why?
1. The theme music
The theme song is unforgettable. There aren’t even any lyrics yet this song is still stuck in my head constantly.
2. Dramatic chase scenes
There was an awful lot of running on The Bill. Through back gardens, over walls, down lanes, up and down flights of stairs in blocks of flats. So much running. It seems like in the UK justice is decided by who’s better at parkour.
I’m not sure if this was for dramatic effect or if people just run away a lot more in England, but the actors must have had to put in some serious cardio to maintain that level of fitness. Come to think of it, has anyone ever seen a Garda run?
3. The number of guest appearances by people who grew up to be pretty famous
When Keira Knightley was 10 she played a thief on the show.
Russell Brand made an appearance as a teenager and it’s actually a little bit unsettling to hear that voice coming from the mouth of a young teen. Until I saw this I was kind of under the impression that he was faking that pirate accent that he uses.
Jack O’Connell also appeared as a kid that assaulted his teacher that could well have just been his character Cook from Skins as a child.
Some other notable appearances were made by Emma Bunton, David Tennant, Martine McCutcheon, Lorraine Kelly, Paul O’Grady, Hugh Laurie (as in House M.D.) and Emmanuel Petit who played football for Arsenal, Chelsea, Monaco, Barcelona and France.
4. Sergeant June Ackland
In real life, she is the mother of popstar La Roux but on the show she is mother of everyone who worked in Sun Hill police station. Seriously. Why did they all call her “mum” all of the time. This really confused me as a child and I’m sure I’m not the only child that needed constant clarification from their parents that she was not actually anybody’s mother.
Her character was admittedly very comforting and kind and seems exactly like the type of mam who sustains you during life in retail. Get this woman back on TV.
5. Seeing actors drifting between The Bill and Eastenders
Because soaps were on every day, as a child I could not comprehend that it was not real life. This was not helped when DI Phil Hunter left The Bill to join Eastenders as Jack Branning, an ex police officer. It was as if he went to Eastenders as a part of some elaborate witness protection scheme.
Also on The Bill were Eastenders characters Sharon Watts, Irene Raymond, Mark Fowler, Danny Pennant, Kathy and Jane Beale.
6. No soap left the studio as much as The Bill
Because crimes don’t tend to happen inside police stations, The Bill was a bit more exciting than Eastenders or Coronation street since they focus mostly on one neighbourhood.
It was nice to get a look at people’s back gardens while the cast of The Bill ran through them, ducking under washing lines and hopping walls to run after a petty criminal.
7. It gave kids a perfect excuse to stay up late on weeknights
Mams were simply not arsed trying to get their kids to go to bed because they didn’t want to miss the start of The Bill by doing so. We have a gap in the market for a show that is consistently on at 9pm every night that is suitable for kids (most of the time). Every child should get to experience this privilege.
