Dublin: 20 °C Tuesday 9 August, 2022

11 feelings everybody had about The Crystal Maze


FANS OF THE the delightfully weird 90s game show The Crystal Maze will be delighted to hear that the show is coming back… Sort of.

There’s no chat yet about a TV show – but there will be a ‘live immersive experience’ in London (a maze, to you and me).

To whet your appetite, here’s an artist’s impression of the game from the official Crystal Maze Instagram account:

Artists impression of things to come! #thecrystalmaze #immersive #live #livegame #london Source: thecrystalmaze

(The Richard O’Brien-like figure in the top left excites us greatly.)

Obviously this is amazing news to anyone who ever had a lot of feelings about the show. A lot of feelings.

1. You could sing along to every note in the theme tune

Source: TheThemeTune/YouTube

Dun dun dun derrr de dun dun dun derrrr de DUN.

2. You were 100% sure you could do a better job than the contestants

Source: William James Wallace Brazier/YouTube

Oh come on! It’s there! It’s right there! And now you’re locked in. Clown.

3. You reckoned the sets looked proper hi-tech

sets Source: YouTube

Of course, they look extremely dated now, but that Futuristic zone was pretty much how you envisaged ~the future~ would look like.

4. You mentally prepared your own team out of your most competent friends

the crystal maze Source: YouTube

“John is good at Skill, and Mary would be perfect for the Physical games. I will be specialising in Mystery, OF COURSE.”

5. When you found out the teams weren’t actually mates, your world fell apart

lisa Source: YouTube

The teams were made up of individual applicants who met for the first time on the day before filming the episode. It’s like they didn’t even CARE about our strategy.

6. You realised the final challenge was actually impossible

final challenge Source: YouTube

But it didn’t stop you badmouthing the contestants. The gold sheets are clearly over there! Clowns.

7. It didn’t matter that the prizes were muck

richardob Source: RockyMusic

Getting on the show was a reward in itself.

8. And you coveted the ‘I Cracked The Crystal Maze’ souvenir

Ag7Dg5uCMAAA9Y8 Source: HexJam

*looks up Crystal Maze commemorative crystals on eBay*

9. Richard O’Brien was weird as hell

Richard O'Brien Source: EMPICS Sports Photo Agency

The clothes, the harmonica, his open and unconcerned trash-talking of the contestants. And Mumsey, of course. Richard, we love you.

10. But no one could replace him as a presenter

tumblr_lg9hpvxMgR1qdd4i5o1_400 Source: Tumblr

They tried (Ed Tudor-Pole, who are ya), but you can’t just replace the genius who gave us the Rocky Horror Picture Show.

11. And they still haven’t made a game show to better it

the_crystal_maze_b Source: Imisstheoldschool

Nope. None. Long live the Crystal Maze!

More: 8 fantastic 90s game shows we wish still existed>

Read next: