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gruesome twosomes

A Definitive Ranking of The World's Most Painful Duets

These collaborations just SHOULDN’T HAVE HAPPENED.

BASED OFF THE bone-chilling news that Dannii Minogue is set to release a Christmas duet with Ronan Keating, we got thinking about the worst duets in history.

(Sorry Dannii, sorry Ronan, but COME ON.)

So here it is: the top ten worst duets of all time. Cover your ears – we’re going in.

10. Paul McCartney and Stevie Wonder – Ebony and Ivory

The classic yardstick that all other ill-advised duets are measured against. Perfect harmony, my foot.

Santi Toselli

9. Shane MacGowan and Sinead O’Connor – Haunted

Now, don’t get us wrong. Separately, Sinead and Shane are legends of Irish music. And Shane has good form in this department, what with The Fairytale of New York being one of the best duets ever.

That said, the chorus of Haunted definitely qualifies as a form of cruel and unusual torture.


8. Alice Cooper and Ke$ha – What Baby Wants

What baby wants is this god-awful tripe to end. What happens when you put two feckin’ eejits together? This song, apparently.


7. Michael Jackson and Eddie Murphy - Whatzupwitu?

Have you ever dreamt of seeing Michael Jackson and Eddie Murphy floating around in the clouds surrounded by cartoon birds and peace signs?

It’s your lucky day!


6. 5ive and Queen – We Will Rock You

Did this really need to happen? Come on now, DID IT?


5. Huey Lewis and Gwyneth Paltrow – Cruisin

Looking for a new definition of GUBU? Just stick this song down in the dictionary. Job done.

Laura Ribeiro

4. Liza Minnelli and My Chemical Romance – Mama

Emo wailers and a Broadway queen – together at last. We’ve been waiting far too long. FINALLY.


3. Sylvester Stallone and Dolly Parton – Sweet Lovin’ Friends

When the unstoppable force of Rambo meets Dolly’s two immovable objects.

Dolly can almost carry this song on her own, but then Sly comes in with his strange fake Southern accent and it’s all lost. Rhinestone is no excuse, guys. Dolly, you should have known better.


2. Norah Jones and Billie Joe Armstrong -Long Time Gone

Norah Jones and the bloke with eyeliner from Greenday announced last week that they’re coming together to record an album of Everly Brothers covers.

The demand was simply overwhelming, we assume.

Warner Bros Records

1. Bono and Frank Sinatra – I’ve Got You Under My Skin

There’s nothing out there that can’t be made 100 times worse by the addition of Bono’s vocals. This song is no exception.


Have we missed out on a woeful duet? Let us know in the comments, if you can face the pain.

Read: Musicians read out mean tweets about themselves> 

Read: 11 duets we can’t believe happened>

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