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lapsed catholic

10 things all lapsed Catholics know to be true

You might be a lapsed Catholic… but you still pray to St. Anthony.

1. You’re always caught out when someone asks what religion you are

“Catholic. Well, not really…”

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2. Despite your various protestations, your parents refuse to accept that you’re not a Catholic anymore

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3. Which leads to a lot of Tense Discussions over whether or not you’ll be going to Christmas Mass

4. And God forbid getting married somewhere that isn’t a church

“What do you mean won’t be getting married in a church? Don’t tell me you’ll be getting married in one of those *whispers* registry offices.

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5. Because of your lapsed Catholicism, you often find yourself a little bit lost on the occasions that you *do* have to attend Mass

Everyone else: “And with your spirit.”

You: “AND ALSO WITH YOU”

6. Even though you are a lapsed Catholic, you’ve still been known to pray to St. Anthony when you misplace something

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7. And you’ll never say no to someone lighting a candle for you

8. You feel like a bit of a charlatan whenever you attend a christening

“Yes, I will act as this child’s spiritual guide.”

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9. You’re continually surprised by those who do get their kids christened or get married in a church

“Wouldn’t have pegged him as religious.”

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10. Despite everything, though, you’ll never *quite* escape Catholicism

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

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