1. Forget Moscow, this is the real Red Square
And it was the place to hang out in when you were 14.
2. You never tire of telling people that it’s the oldest city in Ireland
And you get a little bit defensive when people try to say that it’s not a city.
I’LL HAVE YOU KNOW THAT NOT ONLY IS IT A CITY, BUT IT’S 1100 YEARS OLD.
In your face.
3. Everytime you come home, there seems to be a new plaque
Like this one.
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Or this one.
In fairness, they’re all pretty impressive.
4. But this is still your favourite commemorative plaque by a mile
We’re sure Brenda has fond memories of that day.
5. You can never walk past Greers without coveting one of their cakes
“PLEASE CAN I GET ONE FOR MY BIRTHDAY, MAM!”
6. And you dream of pizzas and ice-cream from Gino’s
Shout out to Gino’s for always allowing groups of teenagers to take over a table when only one person was buying ice-cream.
Sound.
7. You’re pretty sure that sausage blaas contain some sort of medicine
For there is no ill that they can’t sure.
8. And you won’t hear a bad word said about ‘red lead’
The king of foods and the food of kings.
9. Your whole childhood was spent tormenting your Mam and Dad to bring you to the amusements in Tramore
10. But you were perfectly happy when they brought you to Jack Meade’s
Once they got you crisps and you were allowed to mingle with the goats and ducks, you were happy as a pig in shite.
11. And you lived for the Sunday night parade at Spraoi
Even if the floats were a tiny bit scary for your liking.
And once you were a teen, you longed for someone to shift during the fireworks LIKE AN ABSOLUTE SAP.
12. On a summer’s day, you would do anything for a 99 from Jaybees
13. You’re pretty sure Metalman is the nectar of the gods
14. You don’t even like Bluegrass, but you’ll be damned if you’re missing the Bluegrass Festival in Dunmore East
Even if you know that getting a taxi home at the end of the night will be somewhat of a nightmare.
15. Waterford might not officially have a king, but if it did, it would almost certainly be this guy
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I LOVE ME COUNTY!
16. Every summer, you convince yourself that this is the year Waterford will defy the odds and win the All Ireland
And every year, you’re left heartbroken.
(But you’ll never give up hope.)
17. It makes your blood boil when you see this rock face painted black and amber
It should be blue and white, damn it!
18. Your heart expands a few sizes when you hear someone say any of the following…
- Gallybander
- Bibe
- Shellakybooky
- Haboo
19. Ditto when someone asks if you were “made in the glass factory”
Waterford slang for, “Get out of the way, you’re blocking the telly”.
20. You know that “How do?” is an acceptable greeting
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21. And no matter how long you spend away from the place, there’ll always be someone there to say “Well boy/girl!” to you and make you feel at home
