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Dublin: 16 °C Sunday 24 September, 2023
# Blue Sky thinking
8 things you say to your co-workers... and what they actually mean
Says: “Does anyone want tea?” Thinks: “Nobody will want tea, nobody will want tea. DAMN YOU FOR WANTING TEA!”

AH, YOUR CO-WORKERS. Inhabiting that very weird space between friend and stranger, communicating with them can be a minefield.

Sometimes honesty has to take a back seat for peace and harmony to reign supreme. Speak your mind? At the office? You have to be joking.

1. What you say:

weekendcat Paradise Paradise

What you mean: I sat on my arse for two whole days and it was FANTASTIC. But for some reason a strange shame prevents me from telling you this.

2. What you say:

hummustub Flickr / VeganBaking Flickr / VeganBaking / VeganBaking

What you mean: One of you took my tub of hummus and I want it back. I will burn ALL OF YOU. I WILL FIND MY HUMMUS.

3. What you say:

lunchmeeting Flickr / Nana B Agyei Flickr / Nana B Agyei / Nana B Agyei

What you mean: You may have taken my lunch from me, but you will not take my freedom. I’m totally buying a gigantic messy sandwich and eating it in front of you.

4. What you say:

teaoffer Flickr / David Roessli Flickr / David Roessli / David Roessli

What you mean: Say you’d like me to get you some tea. Go on. I DARE you.

5. What you say:

presentationspeak Flickr / Tobias Toft Flickr / Tobias Toft / Tobias Toft

What you mean: I haven’t a clue. I just haven’t a clue, can you tell?

6. What you say:

wineandcheese Flickr / Isabelle Puaut Flickr / Isabelle Puaut / Isabelle Puaut

What you mean: Wine and cheese evening in your house on Thursday? I WILL YEAH.

7. What you say:

coldhah Shutterstock Shutterstock

What you mean: I can hear you sniffing over there. You better not infect me with your germs, Snotty. You will regret that.

8. What you say:

bosstalk Flickr / Omega Man Flickr / Omega Man / Omega Man

What you mean: They want to kick me out, don’t they. DOOM! Doom and gloom. *O Fortuna plays*

ingifrance / YouTube

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