1. First things first, you would risk your life to save your wine
“I’D CATCH A GRENADE FOR YOU”
- you, to your glass of Pinot Grigio
2. On occasions where you haven’t had a corkscrew, you’ve rather sadly watched tutorials like this
3. Because nothing keeps you from your wine
“I’m sure it’s grand to drink wine with a knife in it, isn’t it?”
4. You’ve been known to go up to the bar at a festival and order these in bulk
Three baby bottles of wine, please. They’re not all for me. I swear.
No warm plastic cups of beer for you.
5. You’ve been known to enjoy a good wine lunch
“It’s not like drinking pints. This is civilised.”
*gets half cut on wine before 3pm*
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6. And you have accidentally gotten pissed alone while drinking wine and watching Graham Norton
You, watching the telly:
7. You have one friend who you consider to be your wine companion
The type of friend who will always reply in the affirmative when you text, “Wine?”
8. One glass of wine and you get very confident in your dancing/athletic abilities
WHO WANTS TO SEE ME DO A CARTWHEEL?
9. You love wine so much that you have cute little nicknames for your faves
<3
10. Can in the shower? That’s scaldy.
Wine in the shower? 100% acceptable.
11. Nothing gets your goat more than a stingy glass of wine in a restaurant
:(
12. In fact, you’re renowned for being a generous wine-pourer
Fill her up to the brim, you say.
13. You are opposed to all forms of banter… except wine banter
Wine memes all day long, baby.
14. You have seriously considered buying this
15. This is a genuine concern
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16. And you have sometimes wished this was the case…
17. This about sums everything up
Bottoms up.
