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Dublin: 5 °C Friday 13 December, 2019
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35 thoughts every gal has at the hairdresser

“My nose is itchy and I’m trapped under a bib!”

hairsalon Source: Flickr

1. I’m here and I’m ready to look like Taylor Swift.

2. Okay, Taylor Swift’s back-up dancer will also suffice.

3. Shite, she’s asking me what I want done and I’ve just realised I have no idea how to explain it.

tumblr_npjz3570zs1r8jzago1_250 Source: maryjosez/Tumblr

4. “So, can I have… layers? And just a bit of shape and volume?” WHAT AM I EVEN SAYING?

5. Okay, she’s just speaking hairdresser jargon and flicking my hair around my face now. I don’t know whether to be confident or worried.

6. At least she hasn’t given out to me for that time I cut my fringe myself.

7. Ah, time to put on the big hair bib and look like an overgrown toddler. I bet my nose will get itchy later and I won’t be able to scratch it because I’m trapped under this enormous cape.

America Rising PAC Source: Giphy

7. Yes, she’s washing my hair! The best part of going to the hairdresser.

8. Did I just say that the water temperature was “absolutely perfect“? It’s water, relax. 

9. Oh God, please don’t try to make small talk with me about the volumising conditioner you’re using. I literally have nothing to say on the subject apart from, “Yep, cool.”

10. Phew, peace and silence at last. Now I can go back to daydreaming about all the compliments I’m going to get at work when my hair is done.

Relax Animated GIF Source: pinifs/Tumblr

11. Is it weird that I would definitely hire someone to wash my hair everyday if I was famous? It’s just so… relaxing and glamorous.

12. Actually, I should be taking notes here so I can figure out how to wash my hair better. (i.e. not just frantically washing it in 30 seconds because you’re already late for work.)

13. Too late, it’s done. I guess I’ll just have to wait until next time* I go to the hairdresser. (Six months time.)

 

14. Okay, so she’s cutting my hair. That’s fine, I’m just going to keep my head perfectly still and read this Grazia.

15. OH MY GOD, HAS A SMALL ANIMAL ENTERED THE PREMISES AND PERISHED BESIDE MY FOOT?

16. Oh wait, no, that’s just all my hair.

17. My beautiful hair :(

18. Why am I getting sentimental about my hair now when I’ve been calling it “a holy show” for weeks? Get a grip.

Hair Animated GIF Source: Giphy

19. Okay, my nose is itchy.

20. Aaaaand I can’t read my Grazia because she’s tilted my head in an awkward position.

21. I HAVE TO SNEEZE. I’M TOO SCARED TO SNEEZE. WHAT IF I SNEEZE AS SHE’S CUTTING MY HAIR AND SHE ACCIDENTALLY GIVES ME A PIXIE HAIRCUT? I DEFINITELY DON’T HAVE THE FACE FOR THAT.

22. Ooh, it’s time for the fringe. Maybe I can fit a little sneeze in now?

23. Nailed it. *high fives self*

tumblr_inline_niibiy8Fem1qc9k5m Source: ms-opinion/Tumblr

24. Now I have an itchy nose and there’s hair in my eye.

25. Just accidentally looked deep into the hairdresser’s eyes as she cut my fringe there, didn’t I?

26. I hope she doesn’t think I’m in love with her.

tumblr_mgz21iNyem1rfduvxo1_500 Source: fiercegifs/Tumblr

27. In addition to hiring someone to wash my hair, I would also totally hire someone to blowdry my hair if I was famous.

28. I need these clippy things. That’s where I’ve been going wrong all along.

29. “How is that now?” “Fabulous.” I just said my own hair was fabulous, kill me.

30. ”And here’s what it’s like from the back.” “Absolutely perfect.” Oh God, it’s way shorter than I anticipated, but I’m just going to put on a brave face.

Facepalm Animated GIF Source: Giphy

31. She’s holding out my coat and waiting for me to put my arms in like she’s my maid. This is really awkward.

32. Oh God, the tip! Okay, so if the whole thing costs €55 then… €5 is a good tip? Or is that stingey? HELP.

33. Okay, you can do it, you can do it…

34. ”€60 is grand,” you hear yourself say, like an adult woman who knows about tipping. So slick, so glamorous.

35. Now there’s only one thing left to do: look at your reflection in the window of every shop you pass for the rest of the day!

Rihanna Animated GIF Source: Giphy

More: ‘Knickers off?’ – 7 questions every woman has had about going to the beauticians >

What it would be like if make-up tutorials were truly honest >

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About the author:

Amy O'Connor

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