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Dublin: 4 °C Saturday 14 December, 2019
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19 thoughts every guy has while trying to get the shift

“One chicken wrap for the lady.”

LAST WEEK, WE tried to pin down just what the average woman is thinking when she’s out to get the shift.

One commenter kindly gave us an insight into the male psyche here:

menshift

But we want to give you guys more credit. So with the help of a few good men, we’ve delved into the thoughts of an Irish guy out to get the shift…

1. In without any hassle from the bouncer. Surely that’s the sign of a good night ahead…

288 Source: Replygif

2. *sniffs* Should I have gone with the Joop!? Or is Hugo Boss OK?

cologne Source: Perfume Shop/GetPrice

3. Let’s start an auld football chant in the smoking area. EVERYONE LOVES CHANTS.

Source: Thomas Jones/YouTube

Yaya, Yaya Yaya, Yaya Yaya, Yaya YAYA TOURÉ.

4. Why do girls stare like that? Are they trying to analyse whether I’m a creep or not? I’m not a creep!

roflbot (17) Source: Shutterstock/Kzenon

5. Do I HAVE to dance? Like, really?

giphy Source: Giphy

6. Oh, go on then.

tumblr_ljojjffPMA1qai9np Source: Tumblr

7. Nice-looking girl trying to squeeze past me there. Maybe I can parlay this into some sort of interaction…

rejection Source: Flickr/jamesstewart

8. Or maybe not.

Source: Replygif

9. Oh well. TO THE BAR!

shots-9 Source: Celebuzz

10. Why yes, kind and attractive lady, I WILL buy you a drink. A gin and tonic, you say? But of course!

giphy Source: Giphy

11. Wh-where’d she go?

giphy Source: Giphy

12. Did I really just fall for that again? No one must know about this. *goes back to the dance floor in shame*

tumblr_inline_mn9syn4tCh1qz4rgp Source: Tumblr

13. OK, a girl is making eye contact with me and it doesn’t appear to be because she thinks I’m a creep.

tumblr_nbyfp1a0uO1qj4315o1_500 Source: Tumblr

14. Oh so she wants small talk, does she. Err…

vCIwC Source: Imgur

15. It’d be great if we could just skip to the part when we shift.

shiftme2 Source: Shutterstock

16. Apparently she had the same thought.

Rose_10_surprise_kiss Source: Nocookie

17. WAIT UNTIL I TELL THE LADS ABOUT THIS.

jonstewart Source: Wikia

18. Text you later? Surely you know that that’s not how it’s done here.

dayrule Source: Wikimedia Commons

19. I’ll buy you a chicken wrap though. I’m a gentleman.

mcwrap Source: McDonald's

Previously: 22 thoughts every girl has while trying to get the shift>

The 13 unwritten rules of going to an Irish nightclub>

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