LAST WEEK, WE tried to pin down just what the average woman is thinking when she’s out to get the shift.
One commenter kindly gave us an insight into the male psyche here:
But we want to give you guys more credit. So with the help of a few good men, we’ve delved into the thoughts of an Irish guy out to get the shift…
1. In without any hassle from the bouncer. Surely that’s the sign of a good night ahead…
2. *sniffs* Should I have gone with the Joop!? Or is Hugo Boss OK?
3. Let’s start an auld football chant in the smoking area. EVERYONE LOVES CHANTS.
Yaya, Yaya Yaya, Yaya Yaya, Yaya YAYA TOURÉ.
4. Why do girls stare like that? Are they trying to analyse whether I’m a creep or not? I’m not a creep!
5. Do I HAVE to dance? Like, really?
6. Oh, go on then.
7. Nice-looking girl trying to squeeze past me there. Maybe I can parlay this into some sort of interaction…
8. Or maybe not.
9. Oh well. TO THE BAR!
10. Why yes, kind and attractive lady, I WILL buy you a drink. A gin and tonic, you say? But of course!
11. Wh-where’d she go?
12. Did I really just fall for that again? No one must know about this. *goes back to the dance floor in shame*
13. OK, a girl is making eye contact with me and it doesn’t appear to be because she thinks I’m a creep.
14. Oh so she wants small talk, does she. Err…
15. It’d be great if we could just skip to the part when we shift.
16. Apparently she had the same thought.
17. WAIT UNTIL I TELL THE LADS ABOUT THIS.
18. Text you later? Surely you know that that’s not how it’s done here.
19. I’ll buy you a chicken wrap though. I’m a gentleman.
