1. “The bin company is the only person that texts me anymore. Is that sad?”
2. “Yes it is. It’s very sad. Oh Greenstar, I love you.”
3. “What colour is going out this week again? Is it green? No, it’s black. Wait, last week was black so this week is…brown? Since when was there a brown bin? SPARE ME.”
4. “Everyone’s bins are out. Should my bins be out?” *questions everything in life that lead her up to this point*
5. “So that’s where all the fruit flies live. Hey guys!”
6. “I think I touched some bin juice. I’d like to die now please.”
7. *opens bin lid* “Christ, what DIED in here?”
“…Oh yes, all of my food.”
8. “Ooh, it’s windy out. I hope the bin’s OK.”
9. “WHERE IS IT? WHERE IS MY PRECIOUS GREEN BIN?”
10. “Oh thank god, there it is in the neighbours’ driveway. What a relief. Don’t worry me like that again, OK”
11. “DID YOU EMPTY OUT EVERY SINGLE THING INSIDE YOU ALL OVER THE ROAD? I HATE YOU GREEN BIN.”
12. ”I don’t suppose it would be too bad if I just… threw this glass bottle in the black bin?”
13. “I simply cannot be tamed.”
14. “Is the green bin full enough to go out? Not really. But WILL I LIVE TO REGRET THIS DECISION?”
15. *three days later* “I deeply regret this decision.”
16. “Yes, I AM bringing in the bins in a pair of wellies and a Guns N’Roses hoodie. Stare away, neighbour lady.”
17. *jumping on the overflowing green bin* “I had dignity, once.”
18. “They better take the bins this week. They are spectacularly full. I do not know where we would put the extra rubbish.”
19. “They didn’t take the bins. They must pay for this transgression with their lives.”
