SOMETHING WEIRD happens once the Christmas season approaches. It’s as if every supermarket boss walks up to an item in the store and says “See this thing? PUT CHRISTMAS DINNER IN IT. NOW.”
Nobody asked for any of these things, but we got them.
When Tesco created a chocolate and cherry-flavoured ‘festive sandwich’
When M&S put glitter in fruit juice and called it a day
When Pot Noodle made us feel even worse about our life choices
When Pringles decided white chocolate and peppermint was a good crisp flavour
And when someone said “Y’know what would be great? Mince pie crisps!”
When shops thought they’d go ahead and put Prosecco on everything
When Jones Soda brought out a Brussels sprout flavour
And a popcorn company made popcorn with a ‘sprout glaze’
(We tasted it, and… Yes. It tastes like farts.)
When turkey and stuffing donuts became a thing
*shudders and voms*