The Jeremy Kyle Show
Truly the gold standard for grim daytime TV watching – and if you ever spent an extended time at home during the summer holidays, Jeremy was there for you.
Just when you thought Jezza’s guests couldn’t get more ridiculous, the next episode provided another truly ridiculous situation.
Exhibit A:
Exhibit B:
And on it goes:
'The Case Against Jeremy Kyle Being The Worst TV Show Ever' is due in court soon, and the evidence is stacked against it.
You knew it was awful, he knew it was awful - but you were getting dirty together and somehow it felt great.
Ricki Lake
Channel 4 brought us Ricki Lake - the slightly more normal version of the trashy US talk shows we knew and loved.
But it still delivered the drama:
She went on to pop up in more TV shows and movies, but she'll always be remembered for corralling the rabble for our entertainment.
Jerry Springer
A pure steaming pile of hot American trash:
There was just something less grim about all of these guests because they were American - compared to, say, Jeremy Kyle.
Waiting for that bell to go off.
Judge Judy
Getting weirdly invested in the cases on Judge Judy was a 5pm daily TV3 ritual for many.
You'd suddenly become an expert in US Federal case law for the duration of the programme too:
"I'm pretty sure that's illegal in the State of California"
^you, talking shite.
But, really, you were there for the cutting putdowns from Judy herself:
Judge Joe Brown
It was never, ever as good as Judy but you needed that legal fix from somewhere.
The Steve Wilkos Show
When the security guard from Jerry Springer got his own show, you didn't think it would be any use.
How wrong you were.
Pt. 2?
It dealt with much more serious topics than Springer, and Steve had a habit of getting right up in the grill of the bad guy on stage.
Maury
"You are not the father!"
The real innovation of Maury was bringing in the lie detector test and using DNA on any topic he could get his hands on.
It ramped things up to a new level.
Dr Phil
Dr Phil on RTÉ One was an afternoon comfort blanket just based on that warm Texas-sounding accent of his.
Jenny Jones
The home of "out-of-control teens" and daytime makeovers, always.
Trisha
The British Maury, really.
Get that body language expert on to call out a few guests for the way they're sitting.
And finally... The Sally Jessy Raphael Show
The original, and perhaps the best. If anything sums up the glorious diversity of her show, it's this beautiful quote from the Wiki:
Drag queens were frequently featured on the show, usually in fun, and some even dressed as Sally impersonators. The show that garnered her largest ratings was dedicated to women with large breasts
What a television age to grow up in.
