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28 things everyone should know before turning 30

It’s all frying pans and babies.

Birthday Cake - Candles Source: jessica.diamond

1. 27 is about to become your default age

2. You’ll be so convinced that you’re 27 for the next 7-8 years that you won’t even be able to remember when you’re lying about your age

3. Somebody cancelling plans is about to be the best thing that’s ever happened to you

plans Source: @shotsofhumor

4. Independent Women, Teenage Dirtbag and Limp Bizkit’s ‘Rollin’ are all 15 years old and you are ancient.

5. Lizzie McGuire is 28 and is married and separated with one child. You. Are. ANCIENT.

6.  You will never understand storage heaters. Stop wasting your life trying. Look out for ‘central heating’ on Daft.ie ads.

dimp Source: wikimedia commons

7. You stop boasting about how many shots you had the night before, and you start boasting about how many hours sleep you had

8. Every year when you’re asked what you want for your birthday or Christmas, “I don’t mind” and “It doesn’t matter” becomes truer and truer

9. Getting asked for ID is about to become a badge of honour

identity Source: mollydot

10. There are such things as Saturday and Sunday mornings

11. People sometimes spend Saturday and Sunday mornings enjoying nature, or corralling their children

12. Your mother was right about buying a heavy bottomed frying pan. It’s a revelation

new fry pan Source: Phil Denton

13. She was also right about washing said frying pan with a nice soft frying pan scrubber. You paid €45 for it on sale in Arnotts. Don’t ruin it by scrubbing the shite out of it

14. They sell more than wine glasses and meatballs at IKEA

15. Men: you will start to have less hair where you want it and more hair where it has no place being

16. Women: You will start to wonder if maybe you SHOULD be putting cream on your neck

17.Today’s teenagers view Oasis and Blur the same way you view The Rolling Stones

SHOWBIZ Blur/Oasis filers Source: EMPICS Sports Photo Agency

18. Your Facebook feed is about to become engagements, weddings, babies and inspirational quotes. Unfollow everyone

19. It’s no longer appropriate to say “shite, what are you going to do?” if your friend tells you they’re pregnant. The correct response is “ah congrats, delighted for you”

20. Friday nights in are the business. WHO WILL BE ON GRAHAM’S COUCH THIS WEEK?

The Graham Norton Show - London Source: Ian West

21. You might, some day soon, be grown up enough to pay all of your car tax in one go

22. Ditto your car insurance

23. All of your money will now be spent on weddings. Wedding presents, hotels, jagerbombs, second-day BBQs. All of the money, all of the time.

24. Soon, all of your pint glasses will have been bought, rather than robbed

25. Teenagers will snigger at you if you utter the word ‘disco’ or mention that you have ever been to a ‘disco’

redz Source: clubbdesignireland

26. By Tuesday, you’ll still be blaming Saturday’s hangover

27. It’s 20 years since Leonardo Di Caprio played Romeo to Claire Danes’ Juliet. And Toy Story is 21 years old.

28. Embrace getting older. You care less about what people think of you, but you’re also kinder. It’s great.

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About the author:

Emer McLysaght

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