adulthood is emailing "sorry for the delayed response!" back and forth until one of you dies

— Marissa Miller (@Marissa__Miller) February 26, 2016

When you're in your thirties, "being mature for your age" means you've started waiting patiently for death.

— Mary Gillis (@living_marble) April 14, 2016

As a man in my mid thirties, I no longer suffer with Hangovers. I have 3 day intensive breakdowns.

— Neil Grainger (@GraingerNeil) October 11, 2015

Everyone's right: hangovers take on a whole new dimension in your 30s. Mine even has its own career, partner and children; its name is Greg.

— Benjamin Law 羅旭能 (@mrbenjaminlaw) April 16, 2016

Being an adult means developing a fake work laugh

— sarah minders (@sarahminders) April 13, 2016

"And then, in your 30s, you'll find yourself unable to sleep past 7am on weekends."
"TAKE ME AWAY FROM HERE, SPIRIT, I WILL SEE NO MORE!"

— Sean Thomason (@TheThomason) April 16, 2016

In your 20s Sundays are for recovering from hangovers. In your 30s they are for recovering from IKEA.

— Rory (@roikles) April 10, 2016

The best part about dating in your 30s is that now men will buy you an expensive dinner in addition to crushing your soul & will to live.

— Sarah (@thetigersez) April 9, 2016

When parents say to kids "go to ur room & think about what you've done" it's really good practice for what you'll do every night as an adult

— pat tobin (@tastefactory) September 18, 2015

Adulthood is eating the bruised part of the banana because you spent money and this is your goddamn banana.

— James Pianka (@jamespianka) September 2, 2015

Most adult friendships are just figuring out whose turn it is to cancel plans.

— Erica (@SCbchbum) February 23, 2015