IRELAND’S FAVOURITE MICKEY zipper, Adele King, was in court yesterday for being a bold girl and driving without insurance.
She was fined €1,000, but what really matters is that we figured something out.
You see, all these years we’ve been trying to figure Twink out by listening to the words that come out of her mouth, when what we should have been watching were her hand gestures.
The ‘I’ve had it up to here’
Sam Boal/Photocall Ireland
Our Twink has been known to lose her temper on occasion, but all that could have been avoided if we’d just watched for this tell. When she lifts her hand, stop talking.
The ‘have a cup of tea’
Leon Farrell/Photocall Ireland
You think she’s offering you a cup of tea, but look at her eyes. There’s more going on here.
What the offer of the cup of tea really means, is that you should leave immediately. She’s had enough of you.
The ‘pointing finger’
Photocall Ireland
Perhaps the most alarming of Twinks hand gestures, this is not a pointing finger, rather a symbol of ‘one’. As in you have one minute to do whatever she’s requested or you are going to be in big trouble.
Poor Socky had all his teeth at one stage you know.
The ‘STOP DON’T STOP’
Mark Stedman/Photocall Ireland
Only the most advanced Twink observer will understand the message here. A novice might thing she’s telling the photographer to go away, but what she’s actually saying is ‘stay here, take more photos of me with my shopping trolley’.
When coupled with an open mouth, the spread fingered stop hand means she wants you to stay forever.
The ‘point at the phone’
Mark Stedman/Photocall Ireland
Uh oh. This is the darkest of all. When pointing at a phone, Twink has truly reached the end of her tether and decided to leave an abusive voicemail.
If you see this gesture, you have two choices. Either stay, and record said voicemail for YouTube, or to run for the hills because she’s about to blow. It’s a difficult call.
There you have it, a guide to Twink’s favourite hand gestures. We hope these put you in good stead for all future interactions.
Twink forever.
