Dublin: 10 °C Monday 27 May, 2024
So much sweating

7 things people who cannot cope in warm weather want everyone to know

Yes, that’s their sweat you can smell.

IT’S A CONTROVERSIAL opinion when we’ve spent what feels like the last 2,389 days in winter, but some people won’t have been as quick to welcome the weather the rest of the country has been basking in this week.


Oh, they might like looking at it from between the crack in the curtains of their darkened room and they certainly appreciate the mood it creates around the country, but that’s about it.

Struggling to live your best life when the temperature edges its way into the late teens is a real thing, people.


So, while the rest of us are cracking cans, blowing the dust off our sunnies and setting up camp in the local beer garden, they’re struggling to… just… survive.

And here are just a few things they wish you knew they had to deal with during the 11 days of summer Ireland is treated to… if we’re lucky.

1. Their lack of appropriate clothing

Look, they don’t own what they’ve heard termed ‘a summer wardrobe’.

The idea of buying clothes that can only be worn for less than two weeks of the year seems insane, and it’s for that reason they own an all-year-round wardrobe which isn’t suited to sudden peaks in temperature.

Of course, they can wear less layers than usual, but when the lightest garment you own is a fine-knit wool, you’re kinda fighting a losing battle.


2. Their excessive sweating

Some people look utterly radiant the minute the sun peeks out, but not these guys.

It’s fair to say the excessive sweating is more likely linked to stress over the weather situation than it is the actual temperature, but it’s present all the same.

It’s hard to get excited over a situation that leaves you looking like Lee Evans doing a 30-minute set in the desert.

PastedImage-71630 Alaaaa1221 / Twitter Alaaaa1221 / Twitter / Twitter

3. Their intense squinting

These people don’t own sunglasses, and that’s because they fear purchasing any accessory which might tempt fate.

It’s for this reason, these lads looked permanently stressed following the arrival of warm weather.

Yes, they’re stressed anyway, but the fact they can’t see two feet in front of them without developing a migraine isn’t helping.

PastedImage-5320 GracieRand / Twitter GracieRand / Twitter / Twitter

4. Their desire to nap 24/7

They’ve heard tell of people who say warm weather compels them to get more out of their day, and they genuinely struggle to get their heads around this.

Once they’ve gotten over their after-work commute, they’re ready for nothing other than an evening spent napping in a makeshift moo-moo.


5. Their guilt about being the odd one out

Look, they wish they could enjoy the heat on a day-to-day basis.

They know that admitting the thought of a heatwave makes them want to weep is like someone suggesting they could take or leave Christmas Week.

But their body literally isn’t suited to anything above a solid 12 degrees and any attempts to hide this aren’t worth the effort.

PastedImage-23856 WeetieB / Twitter WeetieB / Twitter / Twitter

6. Their overheating feet

Christ, if only you knew how much their poor feet suffered in warm weather.

They’re talking excessive sweating, burning soles and – when things get particularly heinous – intense heat rashes.

And naturally because they don’t own anything even vaguely summer-related, it’s not like they can cool down in a pair of flip-flops or sandals, so it’s a case of stuffing their swollen hooves into the lightest socks they own and lacing up the shoes they wear all year round.


7. Their uncontrollable clamminess

Even if they manage to get their hands on garments that might be considered more summer-appropriate, they will feel clammy. Very, very clammy.

It’s an all-encompassing feeling that will only shift when the temperature drops.

Sitting, strolling or God forbid, running, it’ll be a clammy situation, they’ll be miserable and while they don’t wish to ruin your day, you will be hearing about it.

PastedImage-83028 johnleebrooks / Twitter johnleebrooks / Twitter / Twitter

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