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12 ways your juicing regimen is driving everyone insane

We need a detox from your detoxing.

WELL DONE YOU. You’ve kept up your juicing diet. Crazes come and go, but we’re sure this one in here to stay. Positive about it.

Unfortunately for some, not everyone is on board. Those left behind in the ancient solid food era just can’t cope. Here’s why.

1. Your constant photography makes us queasy

You can put as many filters or hashtags on it as you like, it STILL looks like something the cat regurgitated after eating out of the lawnmower.


2. When you’re in front of us at the shop

This is your trolley:

juicing2 Source: Rainbow Emmy

This is ours:

junkfoodtrolley Source: mollyewer96

This does not make us feel good inside, in any possible way.

3. You won’t go for lunch with us

We want to try out that fancy new BBQ place down the road, but you have your trusty flasks taking up the entire office fridge.

745babc492f211e397bb1269b74ad15e_8 Source: Chris Brinning

4. Those constant status updates

We’re not angry, just disappointed.


@JuToxJuice just arrived. By Friday I'll be feeling amazing can't wait! #detox #juicing #reboot #healthkick #restartthesystem #feelgood Source: modelmumtales

5. Using ingredients we don’t understand

This is fine, except when you start telling us about everything you squeezed into the radioactive orange juice you’re sipping on. Quinoa, Spirulina, Sustainable Moringa, sugarcane?

Freshly cut sugarcane ready for juicing Source: iamamyjackson

Looks like something we’d throw on the fire to be honest. Or pull up during weeding.


juicing4 Source: Abu Ilyaad

6. Blender talk

The equipment talk always gets awkward when someone mentions a bullet. The bullet trumps all.


Then there are the martyrs that propose chipping in to buy a blender for the staff kitchen.

juicing9 Source: Shutterstock

7. You feel better than us

You’re SO energised, you’re toxin free, your skin so much better, and your bowel movements are next-to-none. Basically you’ve just become Godly.



All this, and we’re just sitting here masticating.



8. OUR juice is harshly judged

When we make the effort to grab a Zumo or an Innocent bottle it’s all sugar this, equivalent of ten big macs that.

Let us sip our fruity milkshake and let us make-believe that it’s good for us.

I-dont-care Source: Thatlizzygirl

9. Those trendy juice shops intimidate us

What if we don’t know how to speak ‘juice’? It took us three months to be able to order at Starbucks.

nessshop Source: Ness_Drinks

10. You’re environmental now TOO

Not only has juicing made you a healthier person, you’re also composting your waste now?


Healthy living.beetroot,kale and carrots.juice for life!!#hurom#juicer#veg#healthy#fit Source: qqiannn

11. You’ll try to get us on board

Thanks for the book but I’m using it as a door stopper.

512VOu9mJgL._SY344_PJlook-inside-v2,TopRight,1,0_SH20_BO1,204,203,200_ Source: Amazon

12. We’re insanely jealous

Is someone juicing lemons? Because we’re getting bitter over here.


This disgusted American figure skater is the meme you never knew you needed>

BBC News mixes up the Irish and Indian Olympic teams>

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