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Dublin: 16 °C Tuesday 17 September, 2019
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There are only 7 weekends left 'til Christmas...

…and here’s how you’ll spend them.

WE HATE TO be that person, but there are only seven weekends left until Christmas whacks us over the head with its glittering stick.

Chances are, if you look at your calendar, most of those weekends are already filled with activity.

In fact, we daresay we know exactly how everyone will spend them.

The bog standard weekend (this one)

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This weekend you’ll probably do what you normally do, whether that’s ferrying your kids around from football to swimming lessons or lounging in your own hungover filth (or you know, sitting at home, alone, wondering where it all went wrong).

Sure what else would you be doing?

The weekend spent foolishly lazing around the place thinking you’ve loads of time

Joey and Ross nap

There will probably be at least one lazy weekend between now and C-day.  You’ll watch films, and lie under a blanket feeling the peace of someone with nothing to worry about.

The weekend you’ll spend doing nothing because you’re broke

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You know this weekend.  It’s the one where you experience FOMO at it’s highest intensity.

You’ve overspent and are on beans and toast til payday as it is, so you really can’t afford to go out.  Alas, this is when everyone else will appear to be doing the best things and having the most fun.

The weekend spent decorating your house and watching Christmas movies

Source: hbcstumin

Everyone loves this weekend, whether the ornaments you’re putting on the tree are made out of egg cartons by your kids in primary school or ones you splashed out on in a fancy shop because it’s your first Christmas with your significant other.

This might be the most magical one of the whole season.  The lights make your home extra cosy, the place smells of Christmas (whether it’s because you got a real tree or that you bought a Christmas-smelling candle in Penneys), and you can finally sing along to your favourite Christmas carols without feeling guilty.  Hooray!

The weekend spent filled with regret over what you did at your Christmas Party

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Everyone always vows to ‘take it easy’ at their office Christmas party, but it rarely ever happens.

Whatever about normal, standard fear, it has nothing on colleague related fear.  This weekend will be spent recalling stupid things you said to the CEO of your company and perhaps even romantic advances you should not have made.

Never forget though, this too, shall pass.

The weekend spent panic buying crap presents for people you don’t know very well

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There are always a few people on your shopping list that you don’t know very well.  Perhaps you’re buying presents for your girlfriend’s parents for the first time, or maybe you’re just not that close to your brother or sister.

These are the hardest of all the presents to buy, are generally left til the last minute, and frequently end up being a bit shite while somehow also being more expensive than all the other presents you buy.

The weekend spent reuniting with emigrant friends who are home for Christmas

Frodo Hug

This will be an emotional rollercoaster.  You’ll be delighted to see everyone and revel in their presence and the quality of the chats and slagging matches, but the evening will also be tinged with sadness.

Why can’t it be like this all the time?  Why did they have to go away?  WHY IS LIFE SO HARD?

And then, it will be Christmas, and everything will be warm and wonderful.  Unless of course you hate Christmas, in which case it will be miserable.

One way or the other, it’s coming faster than you think!

This year’s John Lewis Christmas ad may make you cry>

8 things that you’ll recognise if you’ve ever worked weekends>

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