OTHERWISE KNOWN AS: gross stuff we all do alone but find difficult to admit.
As Michael Jackson once crooned, “You are not alone. I am here with you.”
1. You occasionally eat baked beans from the can
Yep.
2. You secretly value bed over a shower
Ten more minutes in bed and get the later bus? Snooze button. Five more minutes in bed and forego a shower? Snooze button.
3. You’re often too lazy to get out of bed to pee
“I don’t need to go that bad.” And then your kidneys go kaput like Grandpa Simpson’s.
4. You’ve worn swimming togs when you’ve run out of pants
For women, that goes for bikini tops as well as bottoms. Hey, they’re pretty much the same thing right?
5. You sustain entire monologues with yourself
Home alone? Chats with yourself it is!
6. You drink wine straight from the bottle sometimes
With the justification that you’re “saving on the washing-up”. Suuure.
7. You find stuff in your teeth hours after last eating
No judgement.
8. You’re happy putting binge-watching TV above going out
You might as well get a “Just One More Episode” tattoo at this stage.
