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If You Hate Emojis You Can Shite Off

Come for our emojis, and we’ll come for you.

IT HAS COME TO our attention that a faction is mobilising against emojis.

We’re concerned people are getting the wrong message about the friendly little faces, so we have to defend them. Emojis are brilliant.

Let’s get this straight: Emojis not ‘for kids’

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This is a complaint we hear again and again. Could kids have twisted an innocent aubergine into a safe-for-work image of a penis? No. Emojis are for adults.

For further proof, consider the mams and dads bravely adapting to emojis

Your mam wouldn’t send you texts filled with emojis if she thought they were just for kids.

Emojis aren’t dumbing us down


Remember when we were kids, and everyone was scared of LOL and TTYL and BTW, thinking all those abbreviations would affect our intelligence? And y’know how we’re all functioning people now? It’s the same with emojis. We’ll be grand.

In fact, they’re saving our friendships

Everyone knows how everyone is feeling. We’re on the same page. And we owe that peace to emojis.

And they unify us


The fight for the cheese emoji was a call for social change, the likes of which we haven’t seen for decades. We banded together, and we won. Amazing teamwork.

They ARE a new language, whether you like it or not

Take the moon emoji, for example.


The meaning of the moon emoji is incredibly nuanced. One one hand, it can denote an awkward or uncomfortable situation. In another context, it can mean ‘creepy’. In yet another, it can be flirty.

What word can cover all those bases comfortably? Exactly.

And lastly, they’re just great fun

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They mightn’t be your type of fun, but they’re ours.

If you still hate emojis after all that, we have just one thing to say to you…

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More: The cheese emoji is finally here and people are losing it>

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