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Dublin: 15 °C Friday 14 August, 2020
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9 reasons why 'fetch' never happened

The prophecy of Regina George.

TODAY WE CELEBRATE ten glorious years since Mean Girls.

The Lindsay Lohan/Tina Fey classic has taught us so much… that Aaron Samuels looks sexy with his hair pushed back, that on Wednesdays we wear pink, that Glen Coco is the greatest person ever, and the truth about this girl:

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However, one of the greatest tragedies of the past ten years is that Gretchen Wieners’ dream was never realised, and ‘fetch’ as a synonym for ‘cool’ and ‘trendy’ never happened.

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Here, we examine the reasons why, and the people and products that have kept ‘fetch’ down.

1. Crocs

These harbingers of cool doom reached their peak in June 2007, and quashed any hopes fetch ever had.

1281635480_ef71f36b25_z Source: Flickr/Coffee8

crocs Source: Google Trends

2. Ugg boots

And look at this. Ugg boots have been making a steady winter appearance since the advent of Mean Girls in 2004. We’ve never seen such fetch treachery. Fetchery, if you will.

4040110740_683032a072_z Source: Flickr/Wanja Krah

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3. The failure of this website

MakingFetchHappen.com finally petered out in 2010, defeated.

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4. John Mayer’s failed handshake

*Shakes head. Buries head in hands*

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5. Bertie Ahern’s yellow trousers

Couldn’t be less fetch if they tried.

Politics - G8 Summit - Georgia, USA Source: AP/Press Association Images

6. Kim Kardashian

It was all going so well until 2007. And since then, Kardashian and her family have been working hard to keep fetch well under wraps.

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7. Von Dutch

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These were at the height of their popularity in August 2004, thus cutting fetch off at the pass.

 

8. The White House

When 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue is against you, you don’t stand a chance.

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9. Regina George

‘Fetch’ felt personally victimised by Regina George. She said it was never going to happen, and it never did.

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Read: Lindsay Lohan has hinted that there could be a Mean Girls reunion>

 Best Tumblr ever: Mean Girls of Leinster House>

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About the author:

Emer McLysaght

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