Dublin: 11 °C Wednesday 12 June, 2024
fally downy tights

18 truly troubling problems all women must face in winter

Pure glamour!

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1. Fally-downy tights you somehow kept from last winter like a fool. A FOOL

2. Raiding every shop in the land for the perfect pair of non-fally-downy tights, and finding each unsatisfactory

3. Flaky dry lips making your lipstick look like shite

4. Beanie hat hair

5. Putting on your cosy jumper and your cosy scarf and your cosy coat in your house and feeling great, then stepping outside and slowly drowning in sweat

6. Buying the same Penneys scarf/fancy coat as every woman in Ireland

7. Having to get dressed in the dark and as a consequence, looking like you got dressed in the dark

8. Getting a fright upon touching the prickly cactuses that your legs have become

9. Being simultaneously fascinated and disgusted by how fast your pit hair grows

10. Coming in from the cold and having your glasses fog up, as you stand there uselessly

11. Spending hours upon hours contemplating whether or not to get a nice winter fringe. Would it be nice though? You’ll never know

12. Having to go to the bathroom in the middle of the night… while wearing a onesie

13. Your cold-stricken, bright red nose shining through your foundation, no matter how much you put on

14. Feeling your feet sweating in your big boots and thick socks and trying not to think of the stink when you finally take them off

15. When you discover that your fancy new coat and boots are not a BIT waterproof (you knew this fact on purchase but ignored it)

16. Smugly keeping a little tube of handcream by your bed, but not being at all consistent with it and ending up with painfully dry hands anyway

17. Your dry skin, your best pal in the summer, suddenly turning against you

18. And finally, putting on a cold bra first thing in the morning. JAYSUS

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