Dublin: 3 °C Tuesday 28 November, 2023
don't do it yourself

The 12 types of DIY disaster to avoid this weekend

Careful with those power tools now.

THIS BANK HOLIDAY weekend you may decide to bite the bullet and finally tackle those DIY jobs around the house.

We understand that you want to be productive and feel good about yourself but we’re telling you now DIY is risky business and you need to be careful.

1. Ladder mishaps

via GifSoup

Right, here’s the things, ladders are a bit scary.

If you’re going to hop up on a ladder at any point during your DIY escapade insist that some long-suffering friend / other half has to hold the base of the ladder so you don’t fall off.

You can catch up on all the latest goings on while they’re there, safe in the knowledge that you won’t take some kind of terrifying tumble while trying to change that weird flickering lightbulb in the sitting room.

2. Using the wrong paint

Steve Parsons/PA Archive/Press Association Images

Whether this is a case of the wrong shade or not having enough of the correct paint, painting your house in the wrong coat will not only mean you spend hours painting for no reason it’s also a total waste of money.

3. Any kind of carpet removal

You might think you are a DIY warrior who can tear up carpets and reveal a stunning wooden floor.

But let’s think about this, what about all the dirt and dust you’ll make lifting that carpet up?

We reckon you should bring in a professional and go spend the weekend in some B&B living the life and then return home to sparkling wooden floors.

Failing that, go kip in your parents house for the weekend under the ruse of “spending some time with them” while your house gets the one over.

They’ll never know.

4. Breaking glass

Be careful swinging those ladders and power tools around because you’ll have glass shattering all over the place.

Even lightbulbs can crack into a mini-explosion of glass if you hold the wrong way.

DIY is fraught with so many dangers.

5.Wood related injuries

Have you ever had a splinter?

It. is. horrific.

So we’re telling you now, if you’re doing anything related to wood during your DIY exploits (no “That’s what she said” jokes please) then wear gloves.

In fact don’t just wear one set of gloves, put a small plastic bag on each hand, then a pair of gloves, then another pair of gloves.

Just to be safe.

6. Wires

You might think those funny  wires poking out at the side of a wood panel just need to be tucked in and you’ve all your DIY dilemmas solved.

But any wires should be treated as TOTALLY DANGEROUS because if you touch the wrong one this will happen:

Read Junk / Tumblr

7. Not reading the instruction manual

Look, if you’re assembling something this weekend then face facts: you need to read the instructions.

This “HA! I’ll figure it out as I go along” business will leave you sat in a pile of screws for hours, crying softly and wondering where bolts A2 and B5 are.

Sure, look how much fun this lady is having reading her instruction manual, they’re great craic:

Image via Shutterstock

8. Dressing inappropriately

We don’t pay any attention to the sexist idea that only men are interested in DIY because if you need to fix something you need to fix something.

Having said that we wouldn’t recommend taking part in DIY while wearing high heels like these ladies:

Katie Collins/PA Archive/Press Association Images

It’s just not going to let you get stuck in.

In fact, male or female we think shorts are a risky DIY outfit choice given the possibility of cuts, tears and bruises that could befall you during a job.

9. Plumbing horror

via Meme Center

If ever there was a task that you should call a professional in for it is something like unblocking a toilet or checking the pipes on the kitchen sink.

Yes you can potentially save yourself the money needed to get a plumber or you could end up with (let’s be blunt) chunks of human waste everywhere.

Just hire the plumber. Honestly.

10.  Hammer mishaps

Using a regular hammer or some kind of fancy power tool is fraught with tension.

Will you successfully whack a nail into a wall?

Or will you just hit your own finger and end up in untold amounts of pain?

If you don’t believe hammers are scary, here is a menacing picture of one:

Joe Giddens/PA Wire/Press Association Images

11. Getting stuck in a DIY shop all weekend.

Paul Faith/PA Archive/Press Association Images

If you've ever ventured into a DIY superstore on a Bank Holiday weekend you'll know that it is hellish.

Everyone is looking for the same bargains and you'll spend hours wandering around, lost, confused and wondering if you'll ever make it out alive.

If you're starting your DIY experience with a shop visit try and be as ruthless as possible or you may be trapped in the lightbulb aisle for days.

12. Being overly ambitious

Telling yourself you're going to sand the floors, change all the lightbulbs, unblock the toilet, pull up the carpet in the guest room and hang up 16 paintings all in one weekend is a bit much.

Stick to one job (that won't leave you maimed horribly) and finish it so that you can be smug and do nothing for the rest of the weekend.

That's really what Bank Holidays are all about.

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