Dublin: 7 °C Tuesday 16 April, 2024

16 reasons going to the beach is the worst


THIS WEEK IRELAND was at its best.

The sun came out for several consecutive days, we all got to wear our Summer clothes and everyone found their inner sun worshipper.

The only thing about this weather, is that it means that someone will always suggest going to the beach…and going to the beach is the worst.

Here are 15 reasons why.


Flickr/Mouser NerdBot

In your hair/in your sandwiches/in your knickers/being kicked at you.  It gets everywhere.

Seaweed touching your legs





You’ve just set up camp when suddenly a black cloud appears and you have to start packing everything up.

If there’s no sand – the rocks

Flickr/Jim Downing

Walking across a rocky beach can be excruciating, and lying on one is not much better.

Long queues for the ice cream man


All you want is a 99!

Your parents forcing you to change into your togs on the beach


Sure who’d be looking at you?!?  I’ll hold the towel around you!
You haven’t got anything they haven’t seen before.


Flickr/Liz Henry

Virtually inevitable because we’re Irish and therefore we are crap at sun cream.

Sand castle destruction


Whether it’s a dog, child or wave, seeing your artful construction destroyed is difficult.

Really hot people making you feel bad about yourself

Oh feck off Georgia. Photocall Ireland

This is especially bad in other countries where people have deep tans, which automatically give them the edge.

People playing music

There are 17 different pieces of music playing simultaneously here. Laura Hutton/Photocall Ireland

There’s always someone who decides that everyone around them needs to hear their favourite songs blared out of crappy speakers.

Going to the toilet


If there are public restrooms they’re usually manky.  If there aren’t, where do you go?  If you’re not sure where to go you can be certain that some people are letting loose in the sea and that is simply manky.



People seem to be a bit lax when it comes to litter on the beach, and there’s something about a wet crisp packet floating by you that really puts your off your game.


Flickr/Ryan McD

Even if you don’t actually see them, the fear of them is always there.  No matter what glides along your leg in the water, you’re convinced it’s an evil jellyfish, and that they’re definitely going to sting you.


The Daily Ocean

There are always nappies.  Just out.  Just sitting around.  What is that about?

Wet patches


They are always in the worst places too.


And these yokes are always impossible to get up properly. Magrowind

There is always wind, and it’s always annoying.

So – beach weather?  BAH HUMBUG.

It’s officially* summer! Let’s play Irish summer bingo>

9 reasons why Ireland wouldn’t be able for constant sunshine>

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