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X Factor

QUIZ TIME! Should you watch the X Factor final?

Do you have what it takes to watch telly this evening?


YOU MIGHT NEED a pen and a piece of paper to keep track of your scores.

1. Do you enjoy seeing Gary Barlow scowling?

(Suzan/Suzan/EMPICS Entertainment)

A) No, isn’t he the jolly one from Take That? Get him off my telly

B) Maybe, someone needs to tell it like it is

C) Yes. His beard is magnificent

2. Do you want to see all of this series’ contestants come back out to murder a Christmas song?

A) Yes. Christmas and the X Factor FOREVER

B) Maybe. Will Michael Bublé be there?

C) No. That would make the Baby Jesus cry

3. What feeling does this video fill you with?


A) Indifference

B) Michael Douglas in Falling Down-esque rage

C) Joy. Pure, unadulterated joy

4. Can you identify this X Factor finalist?

(Dominic Lipinski/PA Wire/Press Association Images)

A) Are those my feet?

B) Yes of course, the dreamy divil

C) Eh, isn’t it that lad Whatshisname?

5. Do you like people whose breath smells like ‘fag ash’?


A) Oh yeah, Tulisa is my life

B) Meh, she’s alright. Looks like she smells like biscuits though

C) No. Ick.

6. Who won 2010′s X Factor?

A) One Direction

B) Matt Cardle

C) Milli Vanilli

7. What is Louis Walsh’s favourite phrase?

(Dave Thompson/PA Wire)

A) You remind me of a young Rod Stewart/Barbara Streisand/Donny Osmond (delete where appropriate)

B) I can’t decide Dermot. I won’t

C) Westlife are shite

8.  True or False, the lovely Dermot O’Leary is Irish?

A) He’s as Irish as tae

B) His parents are Irish

C) Isn’t he from Ohio?

9. Name the two presenters of The Xtra Factor

A) Jolly Furs and Caroline Smack

B) Big Tom and Philomena Begley

C) Olly Murs and Caroline Flack

10. Which X Factor judge (apart from Tulisa herself) has seen Tulisa naked (in the flesh, not in a saucy video)?

A) Nicole

B) Dermot

C) Louis

(Pssst that guy in question 4 is James Arthur)

So, how did you do?

Here’s how to score your answers:

  1. A = 0, B = 5, C = 10
  2. A = 10, B = 5, C = 0
  3. A = 5, B = 0, C = 10
  4. A = 0, B = 10, C = 5
  5. A = 10. B = 5, C = 0
  6. A = 5, B = 10, C = 0
  7. A = 10, B = 5, C = 0
  8. A = 5, B = 10, C = 0
  9. A = 5, B = 0, C = 10
  10. A = 5, B = 0, C = 10

If you scored 100: We can’t believe you’re wasting your time on this quiz. You should be making Tulisa cupcakes and double checking that the Skybox is set to record in case you miss any of the final.

If you scored 75 – 95: You’re planning your evening around the final aren’t you? You’re going to watch it, and then go to the pub and talk about it.

If you scored 25 – 70: You should watch the final, but have the remote control nearby for constant flicking  between channels. That’s never annoying.

If you scores less that 25: You should probably check if there’s any good documentaries on Discovery. Or maybe go to the cinema. We hear Argo is good.

If you scored zero: Are those your feet? Under no circumstances should you watch the final. You will be filled with confusion and rage.

Get your Soundings out… it’s a secondary school English test>

Squaky bum time! It’s a secondary school history test…

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