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Dublin: 4 °C Monday 16 December, 2019
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10 odd but essential services you should purchase for just $5

Get onto fiverr.com and change your life, basically

Image: Fiver via Fiverr

IF YOU HAVEN’T been on Fiverr.com you are really missing out. It’s a directory of services that you can purchase for just five dollars.

You can arrange to buy just about any service (within reason) and with our rather good exchange rate (five dollars = roughly three euro sixty nine cents) there is a world of essential services awaiting you.

We understand that you’re probably very busy so we’ve whittled down the ten most important (i.e. INSANE) Fiverr deals that you absolutely must buy.

10. Annoy somebody else’s boyfriend!

Hey you! Are you tired of being the one that everybody annoys? Do you wish you could finally annoy SOMEBODY ELSE?

Well lucky you because Fiverr user Magier is letting you annoy her boyfriend for only five dollars.

“Think of something funny and good, and you’ll be entertained by his reaction!” she says.  Judging by this picture he’s already pretty annoyed:

Fiverr / Magier

9.  Use the power of magic to make your fortune!

If you’re sick of traditional methods of earning money such as working for a living or hawking unwanted Christmas gifts on eBay then perhaps the mystic arts are for you!

For just five dollars Sarahlm will “cast a powerful money fortune spell“.  Although it seems to be a fairly limited service:

Please note I will only do 5 money spells a week. It is tiring and takes patients

Fair enough. You’ll be glad to know that Sarahlm and her family (!) all cast spells but

We are more than happy to do it for others but never cast spells for our self gain

How generous. It’s like having your own personal episode of Charmed.

8. Become a stylish man!

Are you a man who needs help with his wardrobe?

Do you know a man who wants help with his wardrobe?

Then Flook009′s Fiverr deal is just what you need.

He promises to be “your personal style consultant for 2 weeks via Skype”.

He does note that it’s for “ONLY men” (alright, no need to shout) and that “when the consulting begins you will be asked questions about your self, and what define you” but surely that’s a small price to pay for improving your style?

A stylish man (Image: Shutterstock)

7. Get rid of a pesky ex-lover

Breakups are the worst aren’t they? Especially when you have moved on and are ready to debut your new haircut/gym bod and your ex isn’t.

Thankfully, Easyliving411 can aid you in this tricky process. According to their profile:

I’ll send A ONE OFFTXT MSG to your previous lover in pure spite assuring them that you have moved on,, can be sent in any wich way you like, no limits weather it’s nice or completely spitefull. :)

We would hope that the smiley face doesn’t end up in the text to your ex “wich”ever way you send it or it might not look very “spitefull” at all.

6. Have your story backed up by a total stranger!

“Have you ever been in a situation where people dont believe you about somthing either true or possibly not so?” Williford 101 asks.

Haven’t we all Williford100, haven’t we all? Well don’t fret because he says:

i will back up any story, any!

So whether you’re covering up an affair or that you did in fact eat the last Fig Roll, you now have someone on your side who can “clear that up by backing up any story over phone, email, facebook, ect”.

Really, what did we do before the internet?

5. Get tax back because in fairness does anybody know how to do that.

Filing your tax return is probably the hardest thing you will ever have to do bar your Leaving Cert or sitting through more than one episode of Two and a Half Men.

It’s so hard that many of us are never bothered trying to claim tax back because the mere mention of tax brings us out in a rash.

But, Dublin based Fiverr user Davedublin can sort you out, offering to help his fellow Irishmen claim back the tax on their health expenses. Dave says:

“A lot of people just need a little bit of advice to help them claim back hundreds of euros. I have years of experience working in tax and see no reason why people should just leave their money on the table”

You know what  Dave? You’re right, let’s stop leaving our money on the table and get a stranger on Fiverr.com to put it back in our wallet/safe/moneybox TODAY.

4. Interact with Marilyn Monroe (Kind of)

She was a screen goddess. A film star whose death has never diminished her cultural impact. Nicki Minaj even wrote a song about her.

Yes, we’re talking about Marilyn Monroe. And now, thanks to the power of Fiverr you can employ the services of Hollyharlow who promises to recreate the Marilyn experience just for you:

I’ll sing happy birthday aka Marilyn Monroe style circa 1962 for your loved one. Also included is a personal birthday greeting of your choice. Lastly I will reveal which celebs they share a birthday with and some astrological insight to their personality.

Thankfully Holly is the image of Marilyn. The. Image:

Fiverr / Hollyharlow

3. Interact with Tarzan! (Kind of)

Perhaps Marilyn Monroe is too old school for you and you’d rather inject some jungle flavour into your personalised video greeting.

Let us introduce you to Funnypromote who offers a wide range of jungle themed videos.

Our favourite is probably “I will promote your website,valentine wish,birthday wish or any message in a jungel like a real tarzan for $5″ and as you can see he is the image of Tarzan. The. Image.

Fiverr / Funnypromote

2. Solve an arguement once and for all

Fighting is like, really, draining.

Whether you are debating the ins and outs of Irish fiscal policy or who your favourite Dublin Wive is, sometimes you just need a third party to come in and sort everything out. Thankfully Rendolic is on hand to help.

“Are you fighting about an issue and can’t come up with a common ground solution.” he asks. Well, yes.

“Just let us help a person that has no favor from one to the other”. Fair enough.

“There is a answer for most problems”. How philosophical.

They’ve also included a nighttime picture of some kind of van which seems faintly ominous. Perhaps the “wrong” person gets carted off into the night at the end? That’s one way to solve an argument we suppose.

1. Buy a Wonka bar just like in the films

Fiverr / Amsirp

Nostalgia is a powerful thing. We’ve all wanted to visit Willy Wonka’s Chocolate Factory and eat one of his famous chocolate bars.

Thankfully, Irish based Fiverr used Amsirp will come to your aid.

Amazing opportunity to own a replica Wonka bar! This is real chocolate! Professinaly made to what ever quantity you want! These bars are the exact ones from the movie! and even include a Golden ticket in every bar!! So we can all be winners! YAY!!

Between the golden ticket, the “professinaly made” bar and the promise of us ALL being winners, this is possibly the greatest thing we have ever seen not only on Fiverr but on any website ever. And the fact that is “direct from Ireland” just makes this find all the sweeter.

Gallery: These toilets are out of order… really out of order>

Taste-off – Is Barry’s tea or Lyons tea better?

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