Dublin: 11 °C Friday 24 May, 2024

7 things that should just be allowed to happen on Mondays

Mercy, please.

mug Mondays. imgur imgur

TODAY WAS A difficult day for many people.

Rain. Bank holiday still several weeks away. Not cold enough for the winter coat but not warm enough for no coat.

Here are a few things that should be allowed on Mondays to make it better…

1. Taking a legally mandated duvet day

At least three times a year on a Monday you should be allowed to say ‘I fell down the stairs and I won’t be in’ or ‘I tipped out a window and I won’t be in’ and your boss/everyone says ‘grand’ and nothing more is said about it.


There is no guilt. When you come in on Tuesday nobody mentions your lack of injuries.

This should be the law.

2. Taking a free taxi to work

Nobody wants to get on a bus full of condensation and misery on a Monday.

Nobody wants to stand on the train/Luas wishing death on the mouth breather standing beside them.


Nobody wants to sit in traffic listening while Morning Ireland tells them how it’s all gone to shit.

Nobody wants to walk, stopping at each pedestrian crossing with 17 other people who look like they’re on their way to a double root canal.

FREE TAXIS FOR EVERYONE ON A MONDAY! And no talking from the driver.

3. A ban on any ‘view from my office today’ pics on Facebook

Any arsehole who posts a picture of the sea/their holidays complete with a ‘view from my office’ or similar caption on a Monday should have to somehow work two extra Mondays during the year.


Maybe on a Saturday.

4. Any work meetings involve a telly on a trolley

Just like those magical days in school, any meetings in work involve someone wheeling in a telly and playing an episode of The Office or Parks and Recreation or The Raccoons.

tv Facebook Facebook

5. Leaving work at 3pm to go to the cinema

There is nothing better than an afternoon cinema trip.

When you come out, there’s still enough of the evening left. You get to eat sweets and popcorn. You get to sit in the dark not talking for two hours. It’s rarely very busy so it’s unlikely you will have to suffer the injustice of brushing elbows with a stranger.

6. Ordering a takeaway for dinner

Order four spicebags if you want. It’s Monday!


7. 7-10pm lasting for eight hours

We just need to rejig the space-time continuum a little bit. Be grand.

dog imgur imgur

What to watch on TV tonight: Monday

15 things that would happen if Fade Street was still on air in 2015