1. Every loss starts the same way
You were just going along, minding your own business, when your phone DISAPPEARED! It’s a mystery! (No, you’re an absent-minded fool.)
2. You’ve retraced more steps and called more bars/shops/train stations than you can count
“Hi there, has anyone handed in a phone by any chance? No? Are you sure?”
3. You have to make an announcement like this at least twice a year
4. And follow it up with something like this once you get your new phone
5. You’ve had a ridiculous amount of phone numbers in your lifetime
One for almost every stage of your life. It’s almost sweet (except it’s not).
6. And the ghosts of numbers past regularly haunt you
Whoops!
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“My number is 087 12345- Actually no, it’s not. That’s my number from five years ago. What’s my real number, so?”
7. Your replacement phones either look like this…
The pinnacle of modern technology.
8. …Or like this
Amazingly, you’re as good at breaking phones as you are at losing them. What a talent!
9. You’ve inherited phones off almost everyone you know
Parents, siblings, best friends, best friends’ parents, Chris from work. They’ve all contributed to the charity pot that is your life.
10. You’ve since learned to never, ever buy a good phone
As much as you’d love to be able to connect to WiFi or take a nice selfie, there is no point. You’d just become accustomed to a lifestyle you cannot possibly sustain.
11. At first, you used to freak out about losing one
My LIMB!
12. But now you’ve gotten frightfully blasé about the whole thing
“Just left my brand new iPhone on the train. What am I like, eh?”
13. Your friends, however, are incredibly anxious about this
🌛ally🌜 / Twitter
🌛ally🌜 / Twitter / Twitter
How can you be so casual about losing your phone? And how does it keep happening?! They’ll never understand, and they don’t want to.
14. But you don’t know how to change, so you won’t
This is who you are. They’re going to have to like it or lump it.
