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Dublin: 13 °C Monday 20 May, 2019
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7 of the most annoying sleepers to share your bed with

The spooner, the face breather, the tosser…are you in there?

IT’S NEARLY BEDTIME, which means that soon the lucky among us will be snuggling down into cozy beds and closing their eyes for a nice long sleep.

The unlucky among us will face another night of battling with their sleeping partner’s annoying bed habits.

Obviously there are the snorers and the duvet stealers – but what about the others?  The less spoken about sleep disruptions?

Here are seven of the most annoying sleepers to share your bed with.

The face breather

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There you are, asleep, comfy, possibly enjoying a beautifully romantic dream when suddenly it all stops.  It stops because the person beside you has turned over and is breathing full force in your face.

It’s claustrophobic, and if you’re really unlucky, stinky.

This is particularly bad if your partner has been out on the sauce and you’ve abstained.

The heat seeking missile

Little Pawz

This individual really really wants your warmth.  They literally can’t control themselves.

Their trademark moves include sticking their ice cold feet up the back of your pyjama bottoms, the aggressive spoon, and snaking their hands across your tummy.

You can move away but they’ll come after you, so unless you fancy falling off the edge of the bed you have to simply accept this behaviour.

The person who can’t cope because it’s so hot (every night)

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These guys may start the night snuggled up in their duvet, but they are not hanging onto it.

Oh no, at some stage they will toss off the blankets desperately, as though they had been forced on them in the first place.

Where do said blankets go?  On you, of course, resulting in your temperature going haywire.

Incidentally, these may be the very same people who complain that you ‘steal all the blankets’ during the course of the night.

The flailer

Ok, Kermit, we get it.  You like to flail your arms.  At nighttime though, this carry on is simply dangerous.

Falling victim to a midnight arm flail can result in injury – on both sides.

The talker

YouTube/hollywoodashley

Ah, the talker.  At first their nocturnal behaviour may be amusing, giving you insight into their secret thoughts.

The raspberrys are too bumpy for the rollercoaster.  They’re too bumpy!

Soon, however, the amusement will turn to impatience, and the impatience will turn to rage.

The spooner

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The spooner means well.  They just enjoy the romantic notion of being as close to you as they possibly can.

The real puzzle here is how they can ignore the sweaty beast that you become when someone insists on spooning you for a prolonged period of time.

The spooner does not detach from you early in the sleeping experience, they stay close for the duration of the night no matter how much you try to move away.

The tosser

The tosser can not stay still.

Literally, they can’t.

They also seem entirely oblivious to the fact that every time they toss and turn the entire bed bounces resulting in a very disrupted night’s sleep for you.

Sure why would you share a bed at all?

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