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Art Attack

8 reasons you're not a famous artist

Here’s a clue: it’s because of lollipop sticks. And PVA glue.

THERE WAS NOTHING better than a bit of arts and crafts as a child.

It was rivalled only by PE in school for top enjoyment. And we always wanted to play along with Art Attack or Saturday morning TV when they got crafty too.

But unfortunately life is not always kind. The average Irish child didn’t have all the supplies when they were growing up. Here are some of the things that held you back from being a master artist back in the day.

1. PVA glue

The art people on telly seemed to think we had rivers of PVA glue running fresh at the bottom of our back garden, or that it was coming out of the taps or something. Newsflash: NO ONE had PVA glue at home. It was the Holy Grail of arts and crafts.

Source: Flickr/dumbledad

2. Shoeboxes

Didn’t these Art Attack people realise that we only got the one pair of shoes a year? OK, well maybe one pair of school shoes and one pair of runners. Still. IT WASN’T ENOUGH!

Source: Flickr/piglicker

3. Pipe cleaners

A truly alien concept to most Irish kids growing up.

This piece of craft was a hopelessly inachievable dream for many of us, utterly and cruelly bereft of pipe cleaners. Source: Flickr/smiteme

4. Crepe paper

Fancy paper? Are you messing? It’s far from crepe paper most of us were reared.

What even IS crepe paper, when you think about it? Creepy, quasi-corrugated, soft, breakable tissue paper. It’s not right.

Source: Flickr/Dominic’s Pics

5. A working Pritt stick

Any Pritt stick we were ever given in school was always ground down to a sticky nub by the time it reached us. And that sticky nub would be dragged with a great deal of optimism across your collage, only for it to fall to pieces moments later.

Fall to pieces like your broken heart.

Source: Flickr/Lou Reynolds

6. Glitter

GLITTER? Whose Irish Mammy was buying them glitter? As if. Sure wouldn’t it only ruin the carpet.

Source: Flickr/Girlwparasol

7. Endless lollipop sticks

It was only later in life that we realised lollipop sticks could be purchased in art supply shops and didn’t necessitate the eating of 100 Fat Frogs. Oh well.

Source: Flickr/julietteculver

8. A constant stream of empty packaging

How many tubs of margarine and boxes of cereal could Art Attack have expected us to get through? We were already saving them all up to bring them in for Art in school. IT JUST WASN’T FEASIBLE!

Source: Flickr/Raja Azni

Did you have all the PVA glue you wanted as a child? Share your troubles in the comments. 

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