EVERY SINGLE ONE of us has endured a bad shift in our day.
And if you haven’t, it’s because you were the bad shift.
Sorry to be the bearer of bad news, but think about the law of averages here…
Anyway, as it’s International Kissing Day today, our minds wandered to some of the more awkward memories we have of the activity.
Lockjaw, excessive use of tongue and the classic washing machine move; avoiding them during your ‘I’ll shift anyone and anything’ phase was nigh on impossible.
And on this blessed day, we turn to Twitter for reassurance that our worst shift was nowhere near as godawful as theirs.
Well, for the most part anyway.
1. Was that really necessary?
What the fuck!!? This girl just bit my friends lip till she made it bleed! #BadKisser
— . (@JuanOutDaCut) November 7, 2012
2. Impressive… if you didn’t have to be on the receiving end of it.
It's like he's doing fuckin origami with his tongue in my mouth #badkisser
— Mikayla DeShay🌻 (@Obeyy_Mekaya) April 28, 2013
3. That’s a visual we could have done without.
#WeAlmostDatedBut when you kissed me it was like you were trying to scrape out my stomach with your tongue... #firstcrush #gross #badkisser
— Lauren (@94Laurennn) January 11, 2013
4. Mother of God.
@SprtnDischords sushi dinner. Fish burp during kiss. #badtuna #oops #worstfirstkiss
— Emmarin-9 (@emmarin9) February 12, 2017
5. In the weirdest way, is this not a little bit sweet?
The guy vomited after the first kiss because he was that nervous #worstfirstdate #worstfirstkiss #gayboyproblems #gaylife #closetcase pic.twitter.com/8UAOrwiHdq
— Jake (@californiafrica) December 20, 2016
6. Yep, the classic.
Like wtf... slowwww down... i know u excited but god damn.. is there a vacuum in ya fukn mouth!? Jeez! #AwfulKiss
— ZJ NOVA (@ZJNova) July 31, 2010
7. You can’t escape it.
One time I got attack by a human vacuum machine and I swear I almost cried #WorstKissEver
— godoy (@doloresgodoy_) September 27, 2013
8. Honest to God, it’s an epidemic.
I dumped him because he was a bad kisser, He kisses like a vacuum cleaner! -Lindy #DEAD
— Nita (@nita_feisty) July 18, 2012
9. OK, that is serious stuff.
@katetimmarty my tongue was sucked so hard it went purple and i lisped for 3 days #WorstKissEver
— Carmen (@DollytheChicken) April 14, 2015
10. The washing machine has landed.
'He shoved his tongue in my mouth, and swirled it about, bit gross' - quote of the day from @IzzyMerrison #shitkisser #youneedlessons 😂👅
— Grace Everett (@GracieEverett_) April 15, 2013
11. And then there’s this.
#IThoughtYouWereCuteUntil you left all your saliva on my face #terriblekisser
— brittany dee (@brittanyeliiz) January 15, 2012
12. When the reptiles get involved.
#MyFirstKiss was with lizard tongue #horriblekisser
— Kayla Coburn (@KBurn08) May 30, 2012
13. And then there’s this; the biggest injustice on God’s green earth.
Kissing a bad kisser and they think your bad #horriblekisser
— Breanna (@Bree_Lizz07) April 6, 2012
